Do we do what we because because it brings us joy, fulfillment, and peace or do we do what we do because we think we must. Sometimes we think we must because it is what "good people do" or because "I have to do that so I can have this" or because of social constraint.
A few weeks ago I came to the conclusion that I should be my best self thinking that being my best self would automatically bring what I was hoping for into my life, but it didn't. So then I wondered if there were things I was supposed to be doing, what things had I left undone that were keeping what I wanted so far away. I felt like there was a checklist of things I needed to do in order to reach my goal. It reached a point where I forgot what my goal really was or why I had wanted it in the first place. My checklist grew and grew as my goal felt farther and farther away, I felt drained and overwhelmed trying to complete my list of things "I should do".
In the world I am just entering there are plenty of people who tell you how it "should be done" they point out all the old antiquated ways of doing things and talk about the "one thing you should do for success". What happens though when you sell your soul for that one thing, when you are in the search of trying to find the key that will bring you what you want, but you forget why you started in the first place. You forget that there is a lot of life between now and then and a lot can happen in a short amount of time.
Sometimes I get so caught up in the things I think "I should be doing" that I forget that I don't have to earn salvation, yes I need to be an actor, I am an agent unto myself, but what if sometimes Heavenly Father blesses us just because He wants to, that even as He wants us to be growing, engaging and progressing, He also wants us to have joy. Men are that they might have joy.
This life isn't just about working hard, checking the boxes, doing the things we are supposed to do. It is also about dreaming, standing in the light and soaking it in, and enjoying the good moments while they are here.
This last week I got so focused on what I felt I was lacking, looking for the next thing "I had to do" to reach my goal that I forgot how to enjoy the thing I was hoping for. I forgot to look forward with joy because I was so focused on how elusive it felt.
Life isn't about the stuff we should do, it isn't about us doing something because someone else is supposed to respond in a certain way. Life is about finding joy each day in who we are and in who we hope to become.
