The Mountain

  

  I received an interesting epiphany at institute this week. We were discussing sanctification and how having the Spirit in our lives means we are in the presence of a member of the Godhead and we are no longer spiritually dead. As we talked I pondered about the Children of Israel in the book of Exodus, they were invited into the presence of God, but because earlier in the week they were warned not to cross the line of the mountain without an invitation or they would be killed, they didn't climb the mountain. Even when given an invitation they feared God's wrath, more than trusting his love. Thus entered the Law of Moses, commandments meant to help a people live in obedience to prepare to live a higher law.
   Which times in our lives has God invited us to the mountain, yet we feared to tread for we felt he asked too much of us? We know He has so many blessings in store, yet we fear the cost to us will be too great. We will have to give up the natural man and habits we have fallen into and come to enjoy. We will have to give up our timing and our purposes.
    Human nature would tell us it isn't worth it, what ever God has in store for us will require sacrificing what we want and our timing, that isn't worth it, we deserve to get what we want right now. Or harder still we are doing exactly what the Spirit says we should do and still the blessings don't come. Heavenly Father invites us to climb the mountain, not to avoid trial or temptation, but to face it and come to know him better.
    

Sometimes we hope for the mountain summit and instead feel stuck at the bottom of a steep incline. We come to know our Father in Heaven in the moments we feel trapped, not necessarily when we easily find each hand hold. I hope as we climb that when moments of frustration or pain come we can look to Jesus Christ as our climbing partner knowing He always has us on belay, we are not forsaken nor forgotten. Don't let the picture in your head of what you think life should be, keep you from seeing what God intends your life to be. He is inviting each one of us to climb the mountain. Do we trust His love or his wrath?

Sometimes our Efforts aren't Enough

As a person who generally loves school I've never realized just how draining it can be. I know that 15 credits plus being a teaching assistant is very do-able, but with two weeks left in the semester I am so drained. I end up kicking myself often, mad that I'm not giving more attention to my math and chemistry as I should.  I wonder sometimes if my late night, frustrated efforts are enough, especially when I spend more time after work watching MASH than watching review lectures. Yet even with my exhausted poor decision making skills I am constantly surprised by the peace Heavenly Father sends to me. He has this amazing way of not only giving me a wider perspective, but also encouraging me to keep trying, even if I feel frustrated and hopeless (at least where chemistry is concerned).

Sometimes when we pray we feel like Heavenly Father is disconnectedly listening to us, we are simply whiny beings who are headstrong. I like to think he understands that our frustrations or tears are necessary growing pains and learning experiences on the way. My favorite part of the video below is when the husband prays for Heavenly Father to do it the husband's way, then at the end the man simply prays that Heavenly Father will help him whichever way is best. Don't think that your concerns are below Heavenly Father's notice, but also realize that His reaction might be different that what you want. He always has a way to deliver us, but we need to do our best to bare the burdens in our lives, for they are as Elder Bednar says "the very things to get us home again".

The world we live in brings burdens of all shapes and sizes, what a blessing it is that we can serve others and bear our burdens together.

Jesus Sought me Once a Stranger...

 
  I wish I knew what to write this week. After a week of late exhausting homework nights and emotional ouches, some that are my own fault and some I just share in because I am part of the human race I am empty. I admit to feeling a bit ill-used and a bit abandoned. I've tried so hard not to become angry or let hopelessness at my foibles overwhelm me. I have a specific idea in mind about how I would like my life to go and you know what, it just isn't unfolding that way.
    When I left on my mission my setting apart promised me that if I were faithful I would receive my hearts desire, at first that heart's desire was to have my young man waiting at home for me, then the longer I served and fell in love with the Vietnamese it was to stay and serve them with all my heart, then just as I reached this conclusion I got sick and had to face coming home. In a blessing just before coming home I was told that this was the perfect plan, that going home didn't mean the end of my service, just another turn in the path.
    A few months ago I discovered I no longer knew where my social security card resided. I knew that I had put it in a place very safe and secure, I just couldn't remember where that was. Having lost things in the past I knew that I needed to pray, leave it in God's hands and move forward. Today I woke up to a missing church notes notebook and my checkbook...it's been a rough couple of months for my memory (I totally blame it on trying to cram chemistry into my head). Feeling distraught I took it to the Lord then went to church.
     This week as previously stated has been such a hard week, a friend and my fiance were struggling and I had no idea how to help them.  In trying to help them I have felt lonely, confused and abandoned, and I still haven't quite figured out how to feel differently.
     Now you may be wondering what these three stories have in common...They each tell of something not quite going my way or not quite turning out the way I wanted. Yet Heavenly Father takes these moments to teach us. Today after church I came home determined to find what I had lost. With a prayer in my heart I set out. Within moments I found the check book, remembered where I left my notebook and even found my card forgotten months before. These were not coincidence, I had looked and pondered, but today they were found. As I knelt down thanking my Father for revealing my lost items to me I realized that the desires of my heart are still in store. They certainly have taken their own sweet time, but that's just because the time isn't right for it. Just as I found that card which I have spent months praying for Heavenly Father desires to grant me my needs and wants and sometimes those things don't coincide simultaneously.

  Do we truly believe our Father is omnipotent? Do we believe he loves us and desires to grant us the desires of our hearts? Don't let the doubts and disappointments take away from you a faith in a loving Heavenly Father, He is a God of found social security cards and lonely nights. Each of us will have pain in our hearts whether from our actions or the circumstances of life, trust him to succour you.

Because of Him

All week I've been pondering on the true meaning of this day. As a speaker today said "this is the most significant day in all of history". Truly Easter marks the salvation of mankind. Because of Jesus Christ we might all live again, but not just live, but live eternally with our Father in Heaven.

Salvation is not purchased by obedience, it is only purchased through the Blood of the Son of God (Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf), truly that blood was spilled for each one of us. I am so grateful for the gift of the knowledge of the true purpose of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Many through the ages have interpreted, created and supported their version of the Atonement: whether fallen for eternity, puppets on a string to God's will with no thought or free will or perhaps predestined to heaven or hell.

Instead the Atonement saves us from every fall, every failing, every disappointment, every mistake and every heartache. Because He lives he can save us from our pain and disappointment, because of His Atonement we are not alone in this journey called life. Though disappointment may come draw near to His love, stay near the tree and hold on to the knowledge you have. Because He lives I can face tomorrow, because He lives I am not bound in fear for the future, I am saved by His saving grace and allowed to work with Him to be perfected, drawn from my fallen, sinful state to a state of perfection once more to live with my Father in Heaven. We are known, we are numbered, His drops of blood were shed for us and with his stripes we are healed.

I am so grateful for this Easter season, to be taught of the true power of the Garden of Gethsemane, He is risen from the Grave.

I hope that this hymn will mean as much to you, as it did singing this with my family this morning.