The Choice is yours...but this isn't Chuckarama

  

   We can't change anyone but ourselves. This week I've run into a lot of circumstances where I wanted to change the decisions of someone else. I've wanted co-workers who were a bit more confident and strong willed (crazy I know), I've wished that others would have been more considerate and let me know they couldn't come to an activity after saying they thought it was a good idea, I wished that people would let me serve and visit them as my calling encourages me to do. This week I have wished so much that I could just change something, yet that isn't up to me. I have no control over what anyone else does. They have their own lives, perspectives, goals and desires. I have no right to judge their actions, especially when I see how many times I am hiding in the back chatting instead of actively seeking opportunities to help, I spent tonight hiding from a party because I was tired and wanted a nap instead of interacting with people and sometimes I am content doing things my way, instead of allowing others to serve me. How quick we are to be harsh to others, when in other circumstances we do the exact same thing.
    Pres. Uchtdorf said something like this 'how quick we are to hope that someone else is here listening to this message because they need it or oh it can't be me that must be that person over there they are referring to.' He encourages members everywhere to look at themselves and determine if they are on the correct track before God and if they are truly doing what the Lord would have them do. I think we as humans are all pretty far from perfection, we all fall short of the glory of God and need his grace and strength to become something more. I hope that I can invite him more into my life and ask Him what he would have me do better, it is only with his help that I can change and become a smooth stone.

      Before reaching for frustration or bitterness in this chaotic world we live in with failed expectations and miscommunications I hope we can reach for the love of our Savior and realize there is always more we can do, if nothing else we can learn to have charity and learn to love as our Father loves us.
     I would invite each of you, no matter who you are or what stage of life you are in, pray to see yourself as God sees you now, and as you can become. Maybe just maybe it will give each of us more courage to change, for once we know we are accepted as we are and we see who we can be, we will be so excited to become that person.
     Thank you so much for reading this blog of mine, I don't know if I really have anything profound to say, but I know I ask each week for Heavenly Father to show me something that might help someone. I hope that maybe this week this is for you. Our Father in Heaven knows and loves us, we are never so far away that we cannot find His love in our lives. May His Spirit be with us. Sometimes we don't have control over the things coming into our lives, moments of loneliness, sadness or bitterness, but the choice to feed or starve these feelings is ours.

To the Grey before the Dawn

Tomorrow is George Washington's Birthday and the celebration of the lives of many presidents down through the years. As a history student for many years I have heard academics claim that the founding fathers thought of God merely as a clock maker, who had created the world and now stands back to see how we govern ourselves without his influence. Why did the founders work so hard to protect the rights of individuals in a nation to chose their religion and to defend the nation from tyranny of religion? They understood that religion  has great power in the lives of those who embrace it as well as the strength religion and belief in God brings to individuals in a country.

They knew that dark nights would come to individuals and to the nation as a whole. They knew that for this country to survive we needed God and we needed a sphere where He could have influence, while allowing those who didn't want His help a place as well. We live in a world of turmoil and fear, daily terrorist attacks, gender neutral restrooms and 60 degree weather in February, or six feet of snow in the East Coast. We live in a world that no other generation has ever seen and we have a choice. We can allow our dark nights and fears stop us from living life or we can embrace a relationship with God.

After my dark night last week I had a grey week. I could see good things, but still felt overwhelmed by the lack of the things I wanted. I wanted to kick and scream and wail about how unfair life is, but I knew acting like a two year old would do absolutely nothing. So after my tears and sometimes in the midst of them I went to my loving Heavenly Father and simply said "please help, I can't do this alone, my heart is breaking from what I don't have and the uncertainty of the future" He helped me. He brought me the peace I couldn't create for myself, He loved me only the way that an Eternal Father can. He hasn't delivered everything He has promised just yet, but He has kept his promise to always be with me, He keeps his promise to love me, even when I feel petty and inadequate.

The men of the Declaration and Constitution faced a dark night, if they didn't win the war they faced hanging or dismemberment. They saw countless men die, whether from bullets or disease, yet they continued on knowing if they persevered there would be a bright tomorrow, that the God who created them would save them. This nation has stood on this principle for centuries, I hope you will stand behind the knowledge that our Father is not a clockmaker standing back watching us make mistakes, He is a loving Father waiting to give us peace and hope in a fallen world and He knows us, He grants us peace as we go on His path for us. As Ezra Taft Benson once said:
      "Happiness here and now consists in freely, lovingly, joyfully acknowledging God's will for us- and doing it in all ways and all affairs big and small...With the assurance that the Church shall remain intact with God directing it through the troubled time ahead, it then becomes our individual responsibility to see that each of us remains faithful to the Church and its teachings. "He that remaineth steadfast and is not overcome, the same shall be saved (JS-M 1:11)""

Victor Hugo — 'Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.'

I've been pondering a lot this week about what to write about and I haven't been able pin point something I should talk about, all that comes to mind is speaking from the heart. What is in my heart?
   The realization that sometimes life is hard. Sometimes things don't go the way we plan. Sometimes blessings come soon and sometimes they come much later than we want. Sometimes we see things in the world around us that scare us or cause us concern. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed, confused, anxious and overwhelmed. We live in a fallen world doing the best we can with what we have. Sometimes life just plain hurts. Heavenly Father knows that, He sent us a Savior so we never had to feel those hurts alone. We are known, the tears we cry in the night are counted, the blessings we crave for so deeply are coming, they are coming I promise. Hold on to hope, hold on to faith and know that though pain may endure through the night, the sun does rise, that peace can comfort and support us on the longest roads and that hope brings sun light to what feels like darkened corners. Make scripture study, temples and prayer your anchors, for they are the things which show us Heavenly Father's love. We are known and we are counted, for now hold on to hope for joy will come in the morning.

Before Reaching for Hate...

 


   The world is changing, I mean come on it is 30 degrees with green grass on the first day of February, something is up. Some people call it global warming, some people think it is the heating up of the furnace for the last days, other people are simply glad it is warm and they can walk outside without fear of falling. Whatever camp you're in, I still think everybody has noticed the world, as in environment, is changing, but the hearts of men are also changing. We are being split apart by biases, hatreds, hurts and frustrations. Why is this so? Because we are all so busy judging other people's paths. Yesterday I was told by a concerned gentlemen that I needed to cut my fiancee loose because we've been engaged so long we MUST be breaking the law of Chastity. First, it isn't any of his business, second, it still isn't any of his business. I've been engaged so long because that is the path Heavenly Father has for me and there are many blessings along the way. I'm not the only victim of other's nosiness. It seems people are all over in other's business, whether in passing judgement, asserting their "better than thou art" attitude and trying to make themselves feel better about their own short comings by comparing themselves to others. I admit I can be guilty of that as well, me the person who is tired of everyone else's judgment...wow that is so sad, me knowing how much it damages my heart when people do that, I in my own mind do it too. Shame on me! People, this world needs more love, more understanding and more paying attention to our own salvation. We are not judges for anyone else, we only have stewardship over ourselves.
     I would like to share a story I read this week, I hope it conveys to you what you need to read:
          "Once there was a man who enjoyed taking evening walks around his neighborhood. He particularly looked forward to walking past his neighbor’s house. This neighbor kept his lawn perfectly manicured, flowers always in bloom, the trees healthy and shady. It was obvious that the neighbor made every effort to have a beautiful lawn.

But one day as the man was walking past his neighbor’s house, he noticed in the middle of this beautiful lawn a single, enormous, yellow dandelion weed.

It looked so out of place that it surprised him. Why didn’t his neighbor pull it out? Couldn’t he see it? Didn’t he know that the dandelion could cast seeds that could give root to dozens of additional weeds?

This solitary dandelion bothered him beyond description, and he wanted to do something about it. Should he just pluck it out? Or spray it with weed killer? Perhaps if he went under cover of night, he could remove it secretly.

These thoughts totally occupied his mind as he walked toward his own home. He entered his house without even glancing at his own front yard—which was blanketed with hundreds of yellow dandelions."

     It is so easy to become fixated on someone else's problem, to hide from our own insufficiencies. Have you ever noticed how quickly rumors and negative things spread...just like dandelion seeds blowing on the wind. In a day and age where cyber bullies run rampant and you can destroy a person with an off hand remark, remember we each have our own unique path and a unique journey. We can't expect our lives to look the same as anyone else's. 

     In a movie famous during my high school years they make a statement at the end of the movie "before we reach for hate, always, always we remember the Titans". Before we reach for fear of someone different, frustration at someone's choice, first reach for love and compassion, remember life is hard and we're doing the best with what we have to work with. We have the ability to change the world, do you choose to change it for better or for worse...?