The Rest are Just Details

  This week I fell prey to one of the classic blunders, and no it wasn't "never get in a land war in Asia nor was it never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line" (cue awkward laughing here), I got caught up in the details. I became so focused on lists of things I needed doing, berating myself for things I had forgotten to do, creating lists of things I should do, feeling overwhelmed by all the evil expanding across the world and a car in the shop and not knowing if we would have the resources to take care of it and I let fear take control. Fear that I'll never be good enough, fear that there is too much to do and I'll never get it done, fear that the world is changing so fast and I don't know what to do about it. I let my fears and concerns over run my optimism and my ability to receive direction from the spirit. Every night I got home feeling drained from all the thoughts fighting for dominance in my head, this is something how my inner dialogue was going

 ..."I hope they can get the parts in to start on the car, I wonder how much it is going to cost, I wonder how we're going to balance vehicles while the car is in the shop, how am I going to get to school, where am I going to fit in work, how am I going to do grading, what about my final paper I have no idea what I want to say, what am I going to do for scouts, what about my final paper, how am I going to fit in reading for class tomorrow, what am I doing for dinner, ehhg dishes, I want to watch tv, no I don't because my shows now have ickiness in them, what am I going to do for food storage, what other items do I need to pick up, if for some reason I didn't have access to a grocery or department store for a while what items would I want, I'm so excited to see family, how am I going to fit that in with laundry, oh I have so much reading to do, what if there is an earthquake (my ninth grade science teacher always said we're set for one), what should I do about school, oh man I'm so tired, maybe a nap from 10:30 at night to 11 will help me stay awake long enough after to get more done...."


With so many of those thoughts rolling around in my head there never seemed enough time to slow down and take time to just be with my spouse, to enjoy the things I was learning in my classes. In short I let the adversary and his minions distract me from what matters most, from finding the joy in life and trusting Heavenly Father that it will all work out. The devil really is in the details, he can get our thoughts spinning so fast that we forget to let ourselves just be, to take a breath and see the gifts and blessings in our lives for what they are.  If we think it is hard to build and maintain solid relationships when life is relatively easy, with a warm house to come home to and mostly pre-cooked meals in the freezer imagine what it will be like if we lose those things, then the relationships we value the most will be taxed the most and they need a strong foundation to last and to be built up stronger.

If by chance your inner dialogue looks anything like mine, consider taking a few moments to simply sit and breath, to remember that no offense (intentional or unintentional), failing or frustration is worth dwelling on (the Atonement of Jesus Christ has already covered all of those things) and that the relationship of walking hand in hand with Jesus Christ in order to come closer to our Heavenly Father is most important. The rest are just details and Heavenly Father has already taken care of all of those.

Impossible things

Last week I talked about the perfect relationship, one that never fails and where we always receive what we need. This week I want to go one step farther. Sometimes we view God as a vending machine, ask for something and watch it pop out of the machine, other times we see Him as an impenetrable god far away on His throne not easily entreated nor caring. He is neither one of these things He is a loving Father who has more for us than we have for ourselves. We go to Him in prayer, not to change His plans, but to change our hearts, He already knows what we need, it is for us to realize His purpose and then see his tender mercies.


                           

 Heavenly Father knowing what we would face in this life sent us a Savior to feel our pains individually and uniquely so that we would have someone to turn to for solace. Heavenly Father understands the perils and trials of this life and He understands the pains of these last days, He understands the power being unleashed on the world and He so desires to help us, but agency must be maintained, He cannot take from us our right to choose, He must wait for our request. In days of impossibilities we must ask Heavenly Father's assistance to do the impossible. Just as God stayed the mouths in the lion's den for Daniel, parted the Red Sea for Moses and gave Sarah a child as a post-menopausal women He expects to give those same miracles in these days, we need to expect to receive them. Our first reaction to trial is anguish or fear, when our reaction could be to go straight to our Father in Heaven and say "Father I'm scared, I don't know what to do or how to do it, please send help." Sometimes that help will be visually miraculous, other times it will be peace, perhaps, the greatest miracle of all.


                           

             

Some may be wondering, I am so imperfect and fall so short, why would God help me, why would he even notice. Because you are His child and He loves you. And He needs a strong people, He needs people who have faced extremity, turned to Him, received help and can now Testify of Him. As saints who have felt His love or tired souls who need that love, holding onto Him and sharing of Him brings His love so quickly into our lives. C.S Lewis says that we underestimate our God and are too easily pleased with minor distractions and little effort. As followers of Jesus Christ we have seen His tender mercies in our lives and we need to share that love and expect that power in our lives. We are known, we are numbered, we are loved, we have power. We are children of a chosen generation to see the towers of men crumble and see the devices of men fail. What are we doing to prepare? Are we doing all that we can to know our God, to know His love and feel his protection? The world as we know it is changing, you can feel it in the air.  The time for preparation is almost past, seek the Lord to know what impossibles He wants to help you do.

The Relationship that Never Fails

After trolling the internet off and on the last 48 hours I've discovered a couple things, one there is a large dichotomy of those who love Valentine's Day and those who hate it. I don't think I've seen a passive post yet on it. I've seen couples who have gone all out on it with chocolates, flowers, special dinners and have shown the world. Then I've seen those that don't have a special someone, but wanting to fit in have done their own extravagant things with friends just so they have something to post. It's interesting how social media encourages us to go all out just so we feel we fit in.

When the truth is, sometimes we just feel lonely, even when we know we shouldn't. Sometimes we just feel insignificant, unknown and empty. This life isn't perfect and people aren't either. Our Savior Jesus Christ, the only man to live a perfect life and thus had a position from which to judge chooses not to judge us, He knows perfection, yet He also knows our pains from sin and from the sins or unthinking of others. Sometimes we are called upon to do more than we are able and sometimes we are called upon to do the impossible. When I was young I learned that if we do what is right we will have an easy life, this is a lie. When we do what is right we avoid certain consequences of disobeying the commandments, but we don't get a free pass at life. In fact we open ourselves up to attacks from the adversary who wants to take us from the path, we still face trials and we find that the challenges get harder as we go. Some will say this is unfair, it is, others will complain that they didn't sign up for this, they did, we all did, we just don't remember it. Part of this life is facing hardship for eternal life is a gift that comes at a price. Our Savior Jesus Christ paid the ultimate price for us so we could receive it, we pay a smaller, but still at times painful price now so that we can be refined enough to receive it. We are refined as our feet are put to the fire, we learn more of ourselves and are drawn closer to the Savior as we encounter hardship.

There are days of crying, there are days of frustration, there are days I just don't feel like I fit in and there are days of pain. Yet eternal life means an eternal relationship with our Father in Heaven, an eternity of learning and finding joy, some moments today are worth learning the lessons of divinity and building a relationship of hope and peace with our Father in Heaven, the ultimate relationship that never fails, never disappears and never falls short, that is a relationship worth fighting for.

Through the darkness

This week has been a bit rough. I am feeling incredibly spread thin as student, wife, grader and going to work. There never seems to be enough time for anything. I've tried to keep up my scripture time and prayers, but have still felt distanced from heaven, until I made it back to the temple. Though I received no specific direction I did feel peace and that has made all the difference. Where before I felt far from heaven now I know I am heard. Heavenly father sent two tender mercies this weekend. First a professor who took pity on me and extended a deadline when I fell short. Second in his wisdom he sent an answer to fasting and prayer sooner than expected.
   As a sister in testimony meeting said today, even in the dark times continue moving forward.  Answers that were right before are still true now. Only as we move forward through the darkness can we extend our faith and see the tender mercies our loving father continues to send. Even when heaven feels silent hold to the knowledge God is still there.