Day 729

In reading more about the life of Joseph I realized something today that I had never realized before. From the time Joseph interpreted the dream of Pharaoh's butler to the time the butler actually told Pharaoh about Joseph was two years.


Can you imagine that? Can you imagine telling someone to remember you, thinking that the minute they were released they would tell the right people and that within a day or two you would be free, only to wait over 730 days to only see the Pharaoh, let alone who knows how long it took to actually take up the position the Pharaoh gave him after interpreting his dream.

There are two different things that jumped out for me from this story. One, how often have I been the butler? How often have I made a promise and then not followed through on that promise? When has there been someone in need who I have missed helping because of distraction or worse because perhaps like the butler I didn't want to remember where I had come from or that I had relied on someone else, so I forget the promise and move forward, until one day that promise comes due.

Now there is hope in this story because I have a feeling that Heavenly Father had purpose for Joseph being in that prison another two years. Thus the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ means that as we strive to have a new heart and align our behavior with that new heart Heavenly Father knows we will make mistakes, we will fall short, we may fall through on certain promises, but His plans are perfect and there is always a way for it to be okay for those moments we miss.

Now I promised two things, so here is the second. Joseph waited two more years, yet he didn't grow angry or resentful, nor forget the Lord, in fact when he is finally freed he tells Pharaoh that his abilities come from the Lord. How often in moments of disappointment, or moments where we feel very alone that the adversary comes to us and asks us "if Christ really loved you He wouldn't leave you here, I mean what has He done for you lately?" In those moments perhaps you could respond "I don't know His plan Satan, but it begs the question what have you done for me lately? Oh and you can leave."
I am adding a bit of humor to that exchange that I very rarely feel in real life, but humor aside that is an exchange that is important to keep in mind, Satan will try to get us on his side, mind you his side just means we aren't feeling very kindly to the Lord at the moment.  But as in the case of Joseph we need to remember that even if the word of man may perish, the Lord's word won't perish. I wonder how many times Joseph thought back to the dreams of his youth, I'm sure he did many times, sometimes in despair and sometimes with hope that nothing is impossible for the Lord, even his freedom (for he was the great grandson of Abraham and Sarah and knew of their faith and faithfulness).
In our life's journey it will feel that sometimes man has betrayed us and sometimes much more detrimental it will feel as if the Lord has betrayed us, yet just as Joseph had an important role to fulfill in the Lord's own time, he first needed to be molded, to have his rough edges smoothed away and to be willing to stand up for the Lord at any cost, even in moments of anguish when he didn't understand why he was still where he was.

We can feel that we are trapped in prisons of our own, it is our choice whether to turn to God or allow Satan to ostracize us, I assure you he will do his best to take us from the Lord. There may be times when the adversary doesn't get us with anger, but instead with self-pity, where we feel so worn down by our trials and pains that we only want to turn inward, but this too can be a dangerous trap, taking us away from service to others. I wonder what was going through Joseph's mind when the butler and cup bearer first came to him with their problems, perhaps he wanted to be left alone with his grief at the life he used to have and being unfairly accused. Yet he reached outside himself and served others, setting up the Lord's plan for the future, even if that plan was two years in the making.

Heavenly Father has a work for us to do, it must be done in His time, He knows all the pieces that must fall into place and He knows how to use us for our best and the best of others. Hopefully we can be as Joseph, trusting the Lord even in the midst of day 729. We can't always see when our release will come, yet remaining faithful means we are never truly trapped.

Joseph, blessings of the firstborn

    In years past as we've studied the story of the 12 tribes of Israel a part of me felt bad for the children of Jacob who didn't receive their birthright. I could sort of understand why they would be so mad at Joseph for his dreams and airs when as the second to youngest son he shouldn't have gotten all that the other siblings wanted. Then in institute we talked about how none of the older sons of Abraham's descendants (Ishmael, Esau, Reuben) received the birthright because it wasn't solely about birth order, it was also about being the covenant son. Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph were the first born of the covenant wife (well in Jacob's case Esau sold his birthright for lentil soup). Heavenly Father knows how important the covenant is and it out ranks birth order.

     After coming to realize the importance of the covenant birth order I was a little bit more okay reading the story of Joseph, yet I still felt bad for his siblings missing out on most of their blessings that are instead given to Ephraim and Manassah, then I read the full story of Joseph's siblings and it clicked. When the going got tough, when each of the siblings faced temptation Joseph was the one who acted as a child of the covenant and ran away from temptation and sin, for the most part his siblings did not, instead they fell prey to fornication and committed murder for honor. Joseph and his posterity received the covenant not only because he was the first born of Rachel the covenant wife, but also because he acted as a child of the covenant, he fled from Potiphar's wife, he took on the responsibility of the prison, he taught the truth Heavenly Father gave him, and he forgave his brothers for selling him into slavery. He acted as a covenant keeper so he could receive the covenant to keep through eternity.

   At my cousin's sealing on Friday my sister leaned over and said that when we are sealed we are given all the blessings of the first born. As I thought about that I realized that the only first born in heaven is our Savior Jesus Christ, He is the only worthy and true recipient of the covenant blessings because He is the literal first born of the Father and is the only child of God who has completely and perfectly kept the covenant. Yet because of His love for us our Savior chooses to share the blessings of the first born with all of us. He offers us this gift freely, yet in order to receive the blessings of the covenant we like Joseph need to keep to the covenant path, to work with Heavenly Father to do His work and His glory and to be worthy of the blessings of the covenant. It may sound a bit harsh, but really we only have two choices, we either choose to be like Joseph and flee before temptation or become like his brothers and succumb to sin which usually only leads to greater. Yes there is repentance, that is where the Atonement of Jesus Christ is necessary, we all fall short of living like the firstborn and we all need help from time to time, but without application and obedience the Atonement can do little in our lives.

   If we hope to receive the blessings of the firstborn we must grow in stature as Joseph and Christ did, we must be willing to take on responsibility even when it feels overwhelming as Joseph and Christ did, we must be willing to sacrifice those things required of us so that we can receive a far greater reward as Joseph and Christ did, and we must be willing to forgive as they did. Once more we find another type of Christ in the Old Testament, we have another example we can follow to come closer to becoming like Christ. Might we choose the part of Joseph and receive the gifts of the firstborn by saying yes to the harder right. Joseph faced many forks in the road when he could have wondered why the Lord had turned his back on him for doing what was right, instead he saw each moment as a way to develop greater faith and to learn. Whether we face troughs of survival or swells of contentment, let us always be seeking how we can become more like the firstborn.

The Lord is in Need of People Who Say Yes

  

Yesterday as I sat in the temple I pondered upon the covenants I have entered into and thought about the words of the sealer at my sealing. He said that there will be opportunities that will come into our lives where we can say yes or no, but that these opportunities will teach us things and help us grow in ways that we cannot receive in any other way and that if we say no those opportunities will not present themselves in that way again.  

   I realized that what we say to those opportunities greatly define who we are and who we can become. I'm not saying that we are doomed if in a weak or tired moment we say no instead of yes, but I think of the many people in my life that say yes when they could have said no and I see the blessing they are in my life and I can't imagine what would have happened if they had said no. As the article down below shows we are living in a time where billions have their eyes on us, they anxiously await to see how we will use our time and the gifts we have been given. They yearn for us, they hope for us. They are aware of the traps and snares that lie in wait for us and they anxiously hope to help and assist us in this battle. I hope that we can learn to say yes when opportunities come, that we can mold our characters to be people who say yes when the call to help, assist and serve comes to us, no matter how big or small the call may be. The Lord is in need of people who will say yes, who will ponder to see what more they can do and how they can serve. I am amazed by my great grandfather who kept saying yes to hard work and service even when things didn't go the way he hoped and planned. Because of his example he shows me that I can face hard things, that I can have faith even when things seem to be crumbling and when life is what it is, hard. He shows me even now how far empathy and compassion can go, how sweet it is to have someone who knows pain and heart ache and reach to comfort another instead. The Lord is in need of people who say yes.

"For nearly six thousand years, God has held you in reserve to make your appearance in the final days before the Second Coming of the Lord. Every previous gospel dispensation has drifted into apostasy, but ours will not. True, there will be some individuals who will fall away; but the kingdom of God will remain intact to welcome the return of its head—even Jesus Christ. While our generation will be comparable in wickedness to the days of Noah, when the Lord cleansed the earth by flood, there is a major difference this time. It is that God has saved for the final inning some of his strongest children, who will help bear off the Kingdom triumphantly. And that is where you come in, for you are the generation that must be prepared to meet your God.

All through the ages the prophets have looked down through the corridors of time to our day. Billions of the deceased and those yet to be born have their eyes on us. Make no mistake about it—you are a marked generation. There has never been more expected of the faithful in such a short period of time as there is of us. Never before on the face of this earth have the forces of evil and the forces of good been as well organized. Now is the great day of the devil’s power, with the greatest mass murderers of all time living among us. But now is also the great day of the Lord’s power, with the greatest number ever of priesthood holders on the earth. And the showdown is fast approaching.

Each day the forces of evil and the forces of good pick up new recruits. Each day we personally make many decisions that show where our support will go. The final outcome is certain—the forces of righteousness will finally win. What remains to be seen is where each of us personally, now and in the future, will stand in this fight—and how tall we will stand. Will we be true to our last-days, foreordained mission?

Great battles can make great heroes, but heroes will make great battle. You will never have a better opportunity to be a greater hero in a more crucial battle than in the battle you will face today and in the immediate future. Be warned that some of the greatest battles you will face will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul. David’s battles in the field against the foe were not as critical as David’s battles in the palace against a lustful eye. We will each find our own battlefield. The tactics that the enemy will use against us will vary from time to time; he will feel after our weak spots. We must be alert to the devil’s devious designs, to the subtle sins and clever compromises as well as the obvious offenses.

Fortunately for us, we have the privilege of fighting under the Lord’s banner. While the devil hates us and seeks to make all men miserable like unto himself (see 2 Nephi 2:27), the Lord instead loves us and seeks for us the fullness of joy which He possesses.

Christ lived on the earth and was subject to all manner of temptation, but He won every battle. He is the most successful warrior that ever walked the earth, and He wants to help us win every battle, be it personal or public. When we fall short, His atonement will cover for us on certain conditions....Jesus knows that His kingdom will triumph, and He wants you to triumph with it, too. He knows in advance every strategy the enemy will use against you and the Kingdom. He knows your weaknesses and He knows your strengths." (In His Steps...Ezra Taft Benson)

What if we are father Abraham?

Today in sacrament meeting I shared about an experience that I had being tutored by Heavenly Father this week. I had been having some inner dialogue that I was still wishing that I had something that was mine, something that I didn't have to bow to someone else on all the time and something that I could feel I had some sort of control in (mind you in the last few weeks we found out that Christopher won't be getting implants as soon as we thought and once again we found out the process would be more laborious and involved than we had realized added to that was the need to register my car that even though we had fixed the necessary part not everything had turned on so we still couldn

't pass the emissions even with all our extra driving. I knew Heavenly Father could get my car working as it needed to and I knew He could arrange things so that Christopher could get things in his mouth sooner, so I just couldn't figure out why Heavenly Father was taking so long. As I said I knew better, yet still I was frustrated and anxious feeling that so much of my life was out of my control, then add in being tired of always having to check in with someone else at work and I was feeling pretty beaten down. I also felt so confused, why if work was painful, why if things with Christopher weren't working out, why if I couldn't be in graduate school right now, why if I couldn't be holding my babies right now, why couldn't something go as I wished, why couldn't I have some sort of purpose). 

As I walked back to my desk after the sixth or seventh question of my morning I wondered why I had been placed in this position, why, what purpose had me here. And then the Spirit softened my heart, so I could finally hear Heavenly Father say " you have been praying for the faith to see me, don't you know humility comes first and what do you think you are learning here?" In that moment my heart changed or at least began to, because now I wasn't in this position, denied of everything else, just to be taught to wait or because I had somehow missed some opportunity along the way. This was my opportunity, this was the Lord answering my prayer in the only way He could for me to prepare for what I hope for some day in the future. This humility learning process is necessary for me to develop faith and remember He is at the helm and I need to go to Him with questions to keep learning and growing.

As I shared that experience today a different phrase came to mind. As I spoke the Father spoke once more to my heart, He asked me "do you want your way or do you want my way?" I saw a brother's head drop out in the audience and his heart break for just a moment and I wondered what lesson the Lord was teaching him and then I wondered what lesson the Lord was teaching me. Especially considering that my O2 sensors/monitors finally turned on on Friday only to show my check engine light come on again (meaning my journey is starting over again in that regard, I tried not to freak out this time). And out of the blue my husband hit a rough patch, the kind that feels like darkness is pulsing through the house and I try not to let Satan's minions fill my head with lies, that kind that is exhausting to co-exist with, as a bystander I can only imagine what an attack feels like to the actual target. With all those things flowing through my mind today somehow that question brought peace, because it was a reminder that Heavenly Father did have a purpose, He does have a reason. Yes things sometimes right now hurt and they hurt ALOT. But it is part of the process. If we are to have encounters with the divine our rough edges must be knocked off, our mortality polished so that our divine DNA can shine through and allow us into the presence of Deity.

In the Book of Genesis Abraham is promised posterity as great as the sands of the sea, yet each time that promise is given, he isn't given a son, first he is commanded to move to Egypt and to tell Pharaoh that Sarai is his sister, so then Sarai is kidnapped (essentially) by Pharaoh to become his wife. Only a plague stops this from happening.

The next time Abraham is promised posterity (as far as I can remember) he and Lot have to part ways because their herdsman are arguing which leads to Abraham having to go to war to save Lot from foreign powers. The next time Abraham is promised offspring Sarai offers Hagar so they might both have offspring (this is part of the culture and custom of that time) and when Hagar conceives Abraham watches the women he loves fight. Then Abraham hears of the destruction of Sodom. 

Then when Abraham is again promised covenant offspring he finally receives Isaac, decades after the initial promise, perhaps even half a century, only to have Ishmael attack Isaac and have to send Ishmael away. Finally Abraham has a covenant son and peace in his family. But wait, as Heavenly Father promises Abraham numerous offspring he asks Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, so Abraham prepares to do so, having faith God has a plan. Elder Hugh B Brown said "why did God ask Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, because God needed Abraham to learn something about Abraham." Only after this test was Abraham's calling and election made truly sure. Abraham needed to know he would do anything God asked.

Why is little old me going through what I'm going through, why does there always seem to be something for all of us? Because little old me needs to learn something about me, and each of us needs to learn something about ourselves. In a BYU education week talk a brother said that though we must all be tested as Abraham that test might not be as dramatic as Abraham.  We shouldn't go through our lives ignoring the little heartaches, anxiously waiting for the big Abrahamic test, because it is the little tests that prepare us for what is to come and perhaps it is a lot of little hard moments that add up to a big test that teaches us about ourselves. 

What if we are Father Abraham, what if we are already on track to learn what he learned and do what he did? I don't mean this in a prideful way, we are taught to take the scriptures as our guide, why else are we given these examples if we are not to learn by trying to emulate them. Sometimes I think these examples are just so big and so grandiose, that we don't realize that they were just men and women trying their best and that we can follow their example and learn how to face trial and pain and develop faith like them, by trying to live like them and follow their example. Our Heavenly Father has a work for us to do and He needs us to follow the example of those in scripture to seek His face, to have our rough edges knocked off and to just keep trying. What if we are Father Abraham and mother Sarah in training (just read Hebrews 11, it's a start)?