A Whisper is All We Need

After the amazing power and spiritual strength of last week, this week has felt hurried, harried, stressed, overwhelming and discouraging. I blinked and it was already Wednesday and even though I knew I wanted to be in the temple I spent my entire time there feeling like I was short-changing the Lord because I could only do two names and was late getting there. Then I spent most of my time during the week feeling frustrated by the distractions and work, then I felt bad for feeling frustrated. Needless to say, I needed the reminder from Elder Holland's talk a few conferences ago. I picked out those things that rang the most true for me, and I'll leave the link to the rest of the talk down below.

"My apologies to all the children who are now hiding under the sofa, but the fact of the matter is none of us want tomorrow, or the day after that, to destroy the wonderful feelings we have had this weekend. We want to hold fast to the spiritual impressions we have had and the inspired teachings we have heard. But it is inevitable that after heavenly moments in our lives, we, of necessity, return to earth, so to speak, where sometimes less-than-ideal circumstances again face us.

The author of Hebrews warned us of this when he wrote, “Call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions.”1 That post-illumination affliction can come in many ways, and it can come to all of us. Surely every missionary who has ever served soon realized that life in the field wasn’t going to be quite like the rarefied atmosphere of the missionary training center. So too for all of us upon leaving a sweet session in the temple or concluding a particularly spiritual sacrament meeting.

Remember that when Moses came down from his singular experience on Mount Sinai, he found that his people had “corrupted themselves” and had “turned aside quickly.”2 There they were at the foot of the mountain, busily fashioning a golden calf to worship, in the very hour that Jehovah, at the summit of the mountain, had been telling Moses, “Thou shalt have no other gods before me” and “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.”3Moses was not happy with his flock of wandering Israelites that day!

During His earthly ministry, Jesus took Peter, James, and John to the Mount of Transfiguration, where, the scriptures say, “his face did shine as the sun, and his raiment was white as the light.”4 The heavens opened, ancient prophets came, and God the Father spoke.

After such a celestial experience, what does Jesus come down the mountain to find? Well, first He found an argument between His disciples and their antagonists over a failed blessing administered to a young boy. Then He tried to convince the Twelve—unsuccessfully, it turns out—that He would soon be delivered up to local rulers who would kill Him. Then someone mentioned that a tax was due, which was forthrightly paid. Then He had to rebuke some of the brethren because they were arguing about who would be the greatest in His kingdom. All of this led Him at one point to say, “O faithless generation, … how long shall I suffer you?”5 He had occasion to ask that question more than once during His ministry. No wonder He longed for the prayerful solitude of mountaintops!

Realizing that we all have to come down from peak experiences to deal with the regular vicissitudes of life, may I offer this encouragement as general conference concludes.

My brothers and sisters, the first great commandment of all eternity is to love God with all of our heart, might, mind, and strength—that’s the first great commandment. But the first great truth of all eternity is that God loves us with all of His heart, might, mind, and strength. That love is the foundation stone of eternity, and it should be the foundation stone of our daily life. Indeed it is only with that reassurance burning in our soul that we can have the confidence to keep trying to improve, keep seeking forgiveness for our sins, and keep extending that grace to our neighbor." (https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/04/tomorrow-the-lord-will-do-wonders-among-you?lang=eng)

And I would like to add, if at times as you keep working and keep trying and you begin feeling the stirrings of the Spirit once more in your life (after the incredible spiritual feeling and then the "fight of afflictions"). Don't spend your time in mourning that the spiritual high is gone and you haven't returned to it, instead find joy in that spirit and keep asking, seeking and knocking. It doesn't matter whether the spirit comes as a hint or a tidal wave, it is simply a matter of what we do with it once we have it and maybe we need to discover what we will do even when the spirit is a whisper and perhaps in some circumstances a whisper is all we need. After all the hurry, bustle and stress of the last week, how sweet it was to sit in temple prep and have the sweet, quiet impressions of the Spirit enlighten my mind and illuminate to me scriptures in a way I had never thought of them before. It wasn't the excitement and thrill from two weeks ago, but it was a sweet spirit full of healing and hope.

Hastening Ourselves

 There has been such an air of excitement since the announcements in conference last week. It just feels like the earth itself is welling up with excitement with the hastening of the work that will bring her creator back to her. I think a part of the excitement also comes from the concourses of angels helping us preparing for the coming of the Savior as they feel we are another step closer to speeding His return. He stands at the door and knocks and He is coming speedily. This confirmation has me feeling both joyous and overwhelmed as I realize just how far I have to go before I will feel prepared to see my Savior once more.
   Last week many spoke about the need of taking the Holy Spirit as our guide so that he could prepare our hearts to recognize the Savior when He is in our midst. Some believe that Zion is something only built after the coming of Christ, but I wonder if Zion being built is the very thing that initiates the Second Coming, if learning to love and forgive in the Savior's way is the very thing required for Christ to come to His Saints in power and glory. What did the announcements of last week mean? Well they brought the priesthood together so they could minister as part of a unified group, they retired the aspects of visiting and home teaching that felt much like the Law of Moses, where numbers were counted now we have moved past the preparatory and move to the higher law. Ministering invites us to follow the steps of the Savior, to come to know someone, to learn of their heart and see how we can help and lift and lighten, it isn't about numbers, it is about the heart. Zion is the pure and unified in heart, we are building Zion.


   At this conference we were invited to increase our capacity to hear the Spirit and to act. I wonder if we realize just how many prayers we are positioned to answer, if only we will heed the call.
   I realize I haven't really said anything new or earth shattering tonight, in fact I'm quite sure that I've said all of these things at one time or another in previous blog posts. It's just this feeling in my heart tonight that I can't quite get over. It just feels like our Heavenly Father is inviting us to come to know Him through coming to know His Son. He is inviting us to draw nearer to Him, to invite Him into our lives because as Pres Eyring said the members of the Godhead will not force themselves into our lives. It is up to us to invite them and they want us to so badly. We cannot wait until Christ comes in the clouds to learn to recognize His voice, we cannot wait until the earthquakes and typhoons scream so loudly that we realize the earth is in upheaval and not know the voice that will call us to safety. There really weren't a lot of warnings this conference, there wasn't discussions about the Proclamation nor warnings to follow the prophet. But there were a lot of invitations to invite the Spirit into our lives, to forgive, to unify, to allow the love of our Savior to change our hearts. This conference marks a beginning, the time to be called to repentance is past, the time to know we ourselves need to repent is here. The time to be commanded in all things over the pulpit is past, the time to do the small and simple things as directed by the Spirit is here.
    All week the phrase of Oliver Cowdery after being baptized and receiving the Aaronic Priesthood has been on my mind "These are days never to be forgotten..." The following article expresses these feelings to well, it speaks of preparing young women, I would add it is time for all of us to prepare.

There is a beautiful footnote found in the Pearl of Great Price. It is in Joseph Smith—History 1:71. Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery had just received the Aaronic Priesthood and been instructed to baptize each other. Oliver Cowdery was the first person to be baptized by the proper authority in the dispensation of the fulness of times. The footnote of that verse reads: “Oliver Cowdery describes these events thus: ‘These were days never to be forgotten . . . and I shall ever look upon [the] expression of the Savior’s goodness with wonder and thanksgiving.’” Since that day in 1829, the work of the Church has rolled forward with majesty and grace. Theirs was a day of establishing, learning, and discovering. Ours is a day of hastening and gathering.

In the book of Moses, the Lord teaches Enoch that “righteousness and truth will I cause to sweep the earth as with a flood, to gather out mine elect from the four quarters of the earth, unto a place which I shall prepare, an Holy City, that my people may gird up their loins, and be looking forth for the time of my coming; for there shall be my tabernacle, and it shall be called Zion, a New Jerusalem” (Moses 7:62). 

These are the latter days, and the “flood” has begun. Look at the Book of Mormon. It has been translated into 82 languages, and over 150 million copies have been printed. The Book of Mormon is flooding the earth. It is an exciting time to be trusted by the Lord and to engage in His holy work.

As the Book of Mormon floods the earth, we need missionaries to assist in teaching its truths. When I heard the announcement of the change in missionary age during the October 2012 general conference, I was thrilled. I felt a sense that we must be ready whenever a prophet speaks. We must be worthy and respond to the promptings of the Holy Ghost. Many youth expressed to me that they had felt stirrings within their hearts even before this announcement was made that they should increase their preparation. That is called “hastening.” The youth are feeling it. They are being called to serve in so many ways. I believe that President Thomas S. Monson is saying to the youth, “We trust you! We know who you are! You have a great work to do!”

Parents, your homes can be missionary training centers. Your homes can be family history centers. Your homes can be a refuge from the storms in the world. This places a wonderful opportunity directly on our shoulders to strengthen the rising generation. The Church can assist, but parents do it best and most effectively. 

We too must hasten our preparation of our children to serve the Lord.  We must put the exclamation mark on the simple things we have been asked to do in our homes—daily scripture study, personal prayer, family prayer, family home evening, wholesome recreation, and preparing our children by teaching them the skills they will need to be successful away from home.

When I was first called as the Young Women general president, I felt the hand of the Lord guiding me with urgency to hasten my work in an effort to help Him hasten His. Our vision as a newly called presidency was to assist parents and priesthood leaders to help every young woman be worthy to make and keep covenants and receive the ordinances of the temple. This was very, very clear when we were called. That is why Sister Mary N. Cook, Sister Ann M. Dibb, and I climbed Ensign Peak for our first presidency meeting. From there, the only thing we saw that day was the Salt Lake Temple. It glistened! It gave us a goal and vision of the work. Our first focus was to add the value of virtue to Personal Progress so that young women could develop a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards including chastity and purity. It also required young women to read the Book of Mormon. This was the first step in our role in “hastening” the work. Next we worked with our priesthood leaders, the Young Men general presidency and others to make the standards clear and updated to current circumstances, thus the new “For the Strength of Youth” booklet. Again, we worked together on the capstone “Come Follow Me," the new teaching and learning model we now have for youth.

As the work is hastened, there is a great need for gathering. I am impressed by the young women’s response to serve full-time missions. I don’t think they will be swept away by peer pressure. Their main focus is on the temple. They wear their Young Womanhood Recognition medallions with pride. They understand that a mission is a wonderful opportunity for them and the timing is right for many of them. But all young women will not serve missions. And that is a righteous choice as well. After all, someone has to be here to date those young elders when they return home in two years! I am confident in the young women because I know how spiritually sensitive they are, and they know how to receive answers to their prayers. They will do what is right for them.

The young women know who they are. They know that they have a glorious purpose. They are converted! No matter what choice a young woman makes regarding missionary service, there are four things that will help her prepare for her future roles and responsibilities:  

1.     Obtain a temple recommend and seek out family names and take them to the temple to perform baptisms.

2.     Read the Book of Mormon.

3.     Receive, recognize, respond to, and rely on the Holy Ghost.

4.     Be pure enough to hear the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

Parents, buckle your seat belts! The youth of the Church are hastening their work. The young women seem to feel an innate yearning to be involved in a great cause.  They are ready and willing to serve. The 2013 Mutual theme is from Doctrine and Covenants 87:8: “Stand ye in holy places, and be not moved.” It is imperative that we make our homes holy places where our youth can prepare themselves to serve the Lord and ultimately return to Him. Our homes must be sanctuaries where the Spirit can dwell. The Lord through His prophets seems to be saying, “Prepare yourself, your home, and your family—then serve.”

The Lord is hastening His work and gathering His children. He has a plan, and we are all part of it. May I add my voice to Oliver Cowdery’s and declare that truly “These [are] days never to be forgotten . . . and I shall ever look upon [the] expression of the Savior’s goodness with wonder and thanksgiving.’” (https://www.lds.org/church/news/days-never-to-be-forgotten?lang=eng&_r=1)

May we prepare ourselves to hasten ourselves to be ready to hasten the work.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2018/04/am-i-a-child-of-god?lang=eng
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2018/04/take-the-holy-spirit-as-your-guide?lang=eng
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2018/04/his-spirit-to-be-with-you?lang=eng

At the tomb

I have long enjoyed when Easter and Conference land on the same day. There is something about hearing the 15 men called as special witnesses of Jesus Christ testify of His life and resurrection on the day we celebrate His defeat over death and the promise of redemption and immortality for us all.

That being said I was quite surprised when there wasn’t more talks about the events that led to the Christian world celebrating Easter. Elder Uchtdorf’s talk was really the only talk that discussed Christ’s journey from Gethsemane to the empty tomb, he invited us to Behold the Man, our Savior and Redeemer. There was much mention that today is Easter and that Christ lives and Pres Eyring gave an account of visualizing Christ and Mary in the Garden (which was so very powerful). Yet with all the surprises of the weekend at times it felt to meet that Easter got lost under changing priesthood quorums, retiring home and visiting teaching for ministering and the knowledge that seven new temples will soon be under construction from Layton, Utah to India, to Russia.

In the midst of me sort of feeling that the Easter meetings I was hoping for and expecting were hi-jacked (don’t get me wrong, I am very excited for these changes) the Spirit came knocking at my heart to open up and see a bigger picture. The picture I then saw helped me see that the talks and changes that came today are an invitation to not only remember Christ, but to become like Him and do His work and serve His children. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then doing the work our Savior did is our way to show that His sacrifice for us has changed our lives and we are grateful enough to change ourselves to become more.

As I think back to the talks that stood out to me the most (Elder Robbins, Elder Bednar, Pres Eyring, Pres Oaks, Elder Holland, and Pres Nelson) I see invitations to learn to be okay with failure, to keep growing and trying again with enthusiasm, to take the Spirit as my guide. As Pres Eyring spoke that a witness to the Spirit is more powerful and lasting than seeing with our mortal eyes I felt the Spirit telling me to develop my spiritual eyes, to allow myself to be put in places where I can be taught and tutored by the Spirit so that my nature can be changed and the Spirit can one day introduce my heart to my Savior for that is a witness that can never be taken away. I was taught to be submissive and meek, to allow my life to be directed daily by the Spirit and to pursue the Spirit and things of the divine with my whole heart. I was taught to minister in the Savior’s way. With billions on the earth needing love and comfort the Lord needs each of us to help His children, to learn charity and to simply love without counting the cost or hoping for a return on my investment of time.

We live in an era of the world when remembering isn’t enough anymore. No longer can we take holidays as the time to remember the Savior and His work, then return to our work a day world. We live in a world that needs that remembering to change hearts and lives and to give us the desire to do as He did.

I feel like I am not doing this post justice, today as I listened to the messages from our seers and revelators my heart burned within me to take the messages and do something more, to take the Spirit as my guide, to seek charity and to love as I haven’t loved before. How do we honor the Savior and the work He did in gardens and on the cross, how do we show Heavenly Father we have taken it to heart? We live like His Son. I hope we see that all that has happened the last two days is another step closer to Zion, they are inviting us to change and unify the heart, they are asking us to access the powers of heaven before the typhoon is upon, there is a typhoon coming, if we follow the counsel we heard this weekend and if we take it to heart in the months to come we will make it through the typhoon and bless many in the process, if we do not, then a day of reckoning is coming.

I hope this Easter day we remember the work of our Savior in gardens, to suffer for us, then to live again for us, and that we share that light and life with the world, oh how it needs it now and what a joy to help in this holy work.

My challenge to you as the print versions of the talk come available to count how many times the words “holy” and “unity” were used, I think there is a message there for the latter day saints and the world at large. May we go forth ever ready for a harder right and light to shine forth in the world.

Day 729

In reading more about the life of Joseph I realized something today that I had never realized before. From the time Joseph interpreted the dream of Pharaoh's butler to the time the butler actually told Pharaoh about Joseph was two years.


Can you imagine that? Can you imagine telling someone to remember you, thinking that the minute they were released they would tell the right people and that within a day or two you would be free, only to wait over 730 days to only see the Pharaoh, let alone who knows how long it took to actually take up the position the Pharaoh gave him after interpreting his dream.

There are two different things that jumped out for me from this story. One, how often have I been the butler? How often have I made a promise and then not followed through on that promise? When has there been someone in need who I have missed helping because of distraction or worse because perhaps like the butler I didn't want to remember where I had come from or that I had relied on someone else, so I forget the promise and move forward, until one day that promise comes due.

Now there is hope in this story because I have a feeling that Heavenly Father had purpose for Joseph being in that prison another two years. Thus the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ means that as we strive to have a new heart and align our behavior with that new heart Heavenly Father knows we will make mistakes, we will fall short, we may fall through on certain promises, but His plans are perfect and there is always a way for it to be okay for those moments we miss.

Now I promised two things, so here is the second. Joseph waited two more years, yet he didn't grow angry or resentful, nor forget the Lord, in fact when he is finally freed he tells Pharaoh that his abilities come from the Lord. How often in moments of disappointment, or moments where we feel very alone that the adversary comes to us and asks us "if Christ really loved you He wouldn't leave you here, I mean what has He done for you lately?" In those moments perhaps you could respond "I don't know His plan Satan, but it begs the question what have you done for me lately? Oh and you can leave."
I am adding a bit of humor to that exchange that I very rarely feel in real life, but humor aside that is an exchange that is important to keep in mind, Satan will try to get us on his side, mind you his side just means we aren't feeling very kindly to the Lord at the moment.  But as in the case of Joseph we need to remember that even if the word of man may perish, the Lord's word won't perish. I wonder how many times Joseph thought back to the dreams of his youth, I'm sure he did many times, sometimes in despair and sometimes with hope that nothing is impossible for the Lord, even his freedom (for he was the great grandson of Abraham and Sarah and knew of their faith and faithfulness).
In our life's journey it will feel that sometimes man has betrayed us and sometimes much more detrimental it will feel as if the Lord has betrayed us, yet just as Joseph had an important role to fulfill in the Lord's own time, he first needed to be molded, to have his rough edges smoothed away and to be willing to stand up for the Lord at any cost, even in moments of anguish when he didn't understand why he was still where he was.

We can feel that we are trapped in prisons of our own, it is our choice whether to turn to God or allow Satan to ostracize us, I assure you he will do his best to take us from the Lord. There may be times when the adversary doesn't get us with anger, but instead with self-pity, where we feel so worn down by our trials and pains that we only want to turn inward, but this too can be a dangerous trap, taking us away from service to others. I wonder what was going through Joseph's mind when the butler and cup bearer first came to him with their problems, perhaps he wanted to be left alone with his grief at the life he used to have and being unfairly accused. Yet he reached outside himself and served others, setting up the Lord's plan for the future, even if that plan was two years in the making.

Heavenly Father has a work for us to do, it must be done in His time, He knows all the pieces that must fall into place and He knows how to use us for our best and the best of others. Hopefully we can be as Joseph, trusting the Lord even in the midst of day 729. We can't always see when our release will come, yet remaining faithful means we are never truly trapped.

Joseph, blessings of the firstborn

    In years past as we've studied the story of the 12 tribes of Israel a part of me felt bad for the children of Jacob who didn't receive their birthright. I could sort of understand why they would be so mad at Joseph for his dreams and airs when as the second to youngest son he shouldn't have gotten all that the other siblings wanted. Then in institute we talked about how none of the older sons of Abraham's descendants (Ishmael, Esau, Reuben) received the birthright because it wasn't solely about birth order, it was also about being the covenant son. Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph were the first born of the covenant wife (well in Jacob's case Esau sold his birthright for lentil soup). Heavenly Father knows how important the covenant is and it out ranks birth order.

     After coming to realize the importance of the covenant birth order I was a little bit more okay reading the story of Joseph, yet I still felt bad for his siblings missing out on most of their blessings that are instead given to Ephraim and Manassah, then I read the full story of Joseph's siblings and it clicked. When the going got tough, when each of the siblings faced temptation Joseph was the one who acted as a child of the covenant and ran away from temptation and sin, for the most part his siblings did not, instead they fell prey to fornication and committed murder for honor. Joseph and his posterity received the covenant not only because he was the first born of Rachel the covenant wife, but also because he acted as a child of the covenant, he fled from Potiphar's wife, he took on the responsibility of the prison, he taught the truth Heavenly Father gave him, and he forgave his brothers for selling him into slavery. He acted as a covenant keeper so he could receive the covenant to keep through eternity.

   At my cousin's sealing on Friday my sister leaned over and said that when we are sealed we are given all the blessings of the first born. As I thought about that I realized that the only first born in heaven is our Savior Jesus Christ, He is the only worthy and true recipient of the covenant blessings because He is the literal first born of the Father and is the only child of God who has completely and perfectly kept the covenant. Yet because of His love for us our Savior chooses to share the blessings of the first born with all of us. He offers us this gift freely, yet in order to receive the blessings of the covenant we like Joseph need to keep to the covenant path, to work with Heavenly Father to do His work and His glory and to be worthy of the blessings of the covenant. It may sound a bit harsh, but really we only have two choices, we either choose to be like Joseph and flee before temptation or become like his brothers and succumb to sin which usually only leads to greater. Yes there is repentance, that is where the Atonement of Jesus Christ is necessary, we all fall short of living like the firstborn and we all need help from time to time, but without application and obedience the Atonement can do little in our lives.

   If we hope to receive the blessings of the firstborn we must grow in stature as Joseph and Christ did, we must be willing to take on responsibility even when it feels overwhelming as Joseph and Christ did, we must be willing to sacrifice those things required of us so that we can receive a far greater reward as Joseph and Christ did, and we must be willing to forgive as they did. Once more we find another type of Christ in the Old Testament, we have another example we can follow to come closer to becoming like Christ. Might we choose the part of Joseph and receive the gifts of the firstborn by saying yes to the harder right. Joseph faced many forks in the road when he could have wondered why the Lord had turned his back on him for doing what was right, instead he saw each moment as a way to develop greater faith and to learn. Whether we face troughs of survival or swells of contentment, let us always be seeking how we can become more like the firstborn.

The Lord is in Need of People Who Say Yes

  

Yesterday as I sat in the temple I pondered upon the covenants I have entered into and thought about the words of the sealer at my sealing. He said that there will be opportunities that will come into our lives where we can say yes or no, but that these opportunities will teach us things and help us grow in ways that we cannot receive in any other way and that if we say no those opportunities will not present themselves in that way again.  

   I realized that what we say to those opportunities greatly define who we are and who we can become. I'm not saying that we are doomed if in a weak or tired moment we say no instead of yes, but I think of the many people in my life that say yes when they could have said no and I see the blessing they are in my life and I can't imagine what would have happened if they had said no. As the article down below shows we are living in a time where billions have their eyes on us, they anxiously await to see how we will use our time and the gifts we have been given. They yearn for us, they hope for us. They are aware of the traps and snares that lie in wait for us and they anxiously hope to help and assist us in this battle. I hope that we can learn to say yes when opportunities come, that we can mold our characters to be people who say yes when the call to help, assist and serve comes to us, no matter how big or small the call may be. The Lord is in need of people who will say yes, who will ponder to see what more they can do and how they can serve. I am amazed by my great grandfather who kept saying yes to hard work and service even when things didn't go the way he hoped and planned. Because of his example he shows me that I can face hard things, that I can have faith even when things seem to be crumbling and when life is what it is, hard. He shows me even now how far empathy and compassion can go, how sweet it is to have someone who knows pain and heart ache and reach to comfort another instead. The Lord is in need of people who say yes.

"For nearly six thousand years, God has held you in reserve to make your appearance in the final days before the Second Coming of the Lord. Every previous gospel dispensation has drifted into apostasy, but ours will not. True, there will be some individuals who will fall away; but the kingdom of God will remain intact to welcome the return of its head—even Jesus Christ. While our generation will be comparable in wickedness to the days of Noah, when the Lord cleansed the earth by flood, there is a major difference this time. It is that God has saved for the final inning some of his strongest children, who will help bear off the Kingdom triumphantly. And that is where you come in, for you are the generation that must be prepared to meet your God.

All through the ages the prophets have looked down through the corridors of time to our day. Billions of the deceased and those yet to be born have their eyes on us. Make no mistake about it—you are a marked generation. There has never been more expected of the faithful in such a short period of time as there is of us. Never before on the face of this earth have the forces of evil and the forces of good been as well organized. Now is the great day of the devil’s power, with the greatest mass murderers of all time living among us. But now is also the great day of the Lord’s power, with the greatest number ever of priesthood holders on the earth. And the showdown is fast approaching.

Each day the forces of evil and the forces of good pick up new recruits. Each day we personally make many decisions that show where our support will go. The final outcome is certain—the forces of righteousness will finally win. What remains to be seen is where each of us personally, now and in the future, will stand in this fight—and how tall we will stand. Will we be true to our last-days, foreordained mission?

Great battles can make great heroes, but heroes will make great battle. You will never have a better opportunity to be a greater hero in a more crucial battle than in the battle you will face today and in the immediate future. Be warned that some of the greatest battles you will face will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul. David’s battles in the field against the foe were not as critical as David’s battles in the palace against a lustful eye. We will each find our own battlefield. The tactics that the enemy will use against us will vary from time to time; he will feel after our weak spots. We must be alert to the devil’s devious designs, to the subtle sins and clever compromises as well as the obvious offenses.

Fortunately for us, we have the privilege of fighting under the Lord’s banner. While the devil hates us and seeks to make all men miserable like unto himself (see 2 Nephi 2:27), the Lord instead loves us and seeks for us the fullness of joy which He possesses.

Christ lived on the earth and was subject to all manner of temptation, but He won every battle. He is the most successful warrior that ever walked the earth, and He wants to help us win every battle, be it personal or public. When we fall short, His atonement will cover for us on certain conditions....Jesus knows that His kingdom will triumph, and He wants you to triumph with it, too. He knows in advance every strategy the enemy will use against you and the Kingdom. He knows your weaknesses and He knows your strengths." (In His Steps...Ezra Taft Benson)

What if we are father Abraham?

Today in sacrament meeting I shared about an experience that I had being tutored by Heavenly Father this week. I had been having some inner dialogue that I was still wishing that I had something that was mine, something that I didn't have to bow to someone else on all the time and something that I could feel I had some sort of control in (mind you in the last few weeks we found out that Christopher won't be getting implants as soon as we thought and once again we found out the process would be more laborious and involved than we had realized added to that was the need to register my car that even though we had fixed the necessary part not everything had turned on so we still couldn

't pass the emissions even with all our extra driving. I knew Heavenly Father could get my car working as it needed to and I knew He could arrange things so that Christopher could get things in his mouth sooner, so I just couldn't figure out why Heavenly Father was taking so long. As I said I knew better, yet still I was frustrated and anxious feeling that so much of my life was out of my control, then add in being tired of always having to check in with someone else at work and I was feeling pretty beaten down. I also felt so confused, why if work was painful, why if things with Christopher weren't working out, why if I couldn't be in graduate school right now, why if I couldn't be holding my babies right now, why couldn't something go as I wished, why couldn't I have some sort of purpose). 

As I walked back to my desk after the sixth or seventh question of my morning I wondered why I had been placed in this position, why, what purpose had me here. And then the Spirit softened my heart, so I could finally hear Heavenly Father say " you have been praying for the faith to see me, don't you know humility comes first and what do you think you are learning here?" In that moment my heart changed or at least began to, because now I wasn't in this position, denied of everything else, just to be taught to wait or because I had somehow missed some opportunity along the way. This was my opportunity, this was the Lord answering my prayer in the only way He could for me to prepare for what I hope for some day in the future. This humility learning process is necessary for me to develop faith and remember He is at the helm and I need to go to Him with questions to keep learning and growing.

As I shared that experience today a different phrase came to mind. As I spoke the Father spoke once more to my heart, He asked me "do you want your way or do you want my way?" I saw a brother's head drop out in the audience and his heart break for just a moment and I wondered what lesson the Lord was teaching him and then I wondered what lesson the Lord was teaching me. Especially considering that my O2 sensors/monitors finally turned on on Friday only to show my check engine light come on again (meaning my journey is starting over again in that regard, I tried not to freak out this time). And out of the blue my husband hit a rough patch, the kind that feels like darkness is pulsing through the house and I try not to let Satan's minions fill my head with lies, that kind that is exhausting to co-exist with, as a bystander I can only imagine what an attack feels like to the actual target. With all those things flowing through my mind today somehow that question brought peace, because it was a reminder that Heavenly Father did have a purpose, He does have a reason. Yes things sometimes right now hurt and they hurt ALOT. But it is part of the process. If we are to have encounters with the divine our rough edges must be knocked off, our mortality polished so that our divine DNA can shine through and allow us into the presence of Deity.

In the Book of Genesis Abraham is promised posterity as great as the sands of the sea, yet each time that promise is given, he isn't given a son, first he is commanded to move to Egypt and to tell Pharaoh that Sarai is his sister, so then Sarai is kidnapped (essentially) by Pharaoh to become his wife. Only a plague stops this from happening.

The next time Abraham is promised posterity (as far as I can remember) he and Lot have to part ways because their herdsman are arguing which leads to Abraham having to go to war to save Lot from foreign powers. The next time Abraham is promised offspring Sarai offers Hagar so they might both have offspring (this is part of the culture and custom of that time) and when Hagar conceives Abraham watches the women he loves fight. Then Abraham hears of the destruction of Sodom. 

Then when Abraham is again promised covenant offspring he finally receives Isaac, decades after the initial promise, perhaps even half a century, only to have Ishmael attack Isaac and have to send Ishmael away. Finally Abraham has a covenant son and peace in his family. But wait, as Heavenly Father promises Abraham numerous offspring he asks Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, so Abraham prepares to do so, having faith God has a plan. Elder Hugh B Brown said "why did God ask Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, because God needed Abraham to learn something about Abraham." Only after this test was Abraham's calling and election made truly sure. Abraham needed to know he would do anything God asked.

Why is little old me going through what I'm going through, why does there always seem to be something for all of us? Because little old me needs to learn something about me, and each of us needs to learn something about ourselves. In a BYU education week talk a brother said that though we must all be tested as Abraham that test might not be as dramatic as Abraham.  We shouldn't go through our lives ignoring the little heartaches, anxiously waiting for the big Abrahamic test, because it is the little tests that prepare us for what is to come and perhaps it is a lot of little hard moments that add up to a big test that teaches us about ourselves. 

What if we are Father Abraham, what if we are already on track to learn what he learned and do what he did? I don't mean this in a prideful way, we are taught to take the scriptures as our guide, why else are we given these examples if we are not to learn by trying to emulate them. Sometimes I think these examples are just so big and so grandiose, that we don't realize that they were just men and women trying their best and that we can follow their example and learn how to face trial and pain and develop faith like them, by trying to live like them and follow their example. Our Heavenly Father has a work for us to do and He needs us to follow the example of those in scripture to seek His face, to have our rough edges knocked off and to just keep trying. What if we are Father Abraham and mother Sarah in training (just read Hebrews 11, it's a start)?