This Journey Called Life

We live in a world where emotions are more than acceptable, where football coaches are seen shouting on the sidelines when a call doesn't go their way and we simply say "oh he's just passionate", we see drivers flipping each other off, not just for being cut off, but when the driver in front doesn't accelerate past the speed limit fast enough and where cyber bullying is one of the biggest cultural problems of our time.

When did we buy into this idea that we can do and say whatever we want and there won't be any consequences, that it is our right to vent our spleen (lose our temper) at anyone and that we won't be harmed by it? Now I have just given some pretty strong examples, what about the smaller ones? Nagging someone for not taking out the garbage, or constantly thinking negative thoughts about those close to us and expecting those ideas not to leave our mouths. Now as my husband and I were talking last night, sometimes we can't control what pops into our thoughts, but we can control what we knowingly invite in and what we chose to entertain. Negative thoughts can be the first step in injuring a relationship with those we love.

I'd like to think that in our pre-mortal life we had a really good idea at what we would face here, maybe not every speeding ticket or C grade, but we agreed and covenanted to certain things that our Heavenly Father knew we would need in this life to learn and grow to become who He needed us to be. He understood what gifts and talents we had developed and would be bringing with us in this life. He knew how those gifts and talents would need to be refined for our divine potential to continue shining through.

So in those moments when we feel frustrated at that one more task we wish someone would do for us, or when we feel lonely, or frustrated that we just can't quite seem to figure something out, be patient, count to ten because what starts as a seed in our mind can wreak havoc on our hearts and lives.

In Phillipians and Colossians Paul talks about being rooted in Christ and rejoicing in the Lord daily. What does that mean in everyday application? Perhaps that we need to remember who is the author and finisher of our faith, He has felt those moments of frustration and pain and He knows how to succor us, He knows how to grant the peace our heart is crying out for, He knows the blessings we've received and knows what those blessings can do in our lives. Let Him help, ask Him to help you count your blessings, allow Him to help you find the good, for there is so much good in this world to find, there is so much beauty and love to be found if we have open hearts to see it.

Society has forgotten the consequences of not controlling our temper and of letting frustration and bitterness grow, don't buy into that, we do more as disciples of Christ when we remember that people are inherently good and that we are all trying in this journey called life.

Blessings beyond Measure

So about a year ago I wrote a blog that asked a question, "what's the matter with being different?" I find myself asking that question once again. As human beings we like to make parameters of what we'd like to call normal, certain things that everybody should do so we think that they fit in and that they are on the right path, specifically with in the church. We sometimes fall prey to this idea that things have to happen a certain way in order to be the perfect LDS family. As a newly married madame I'm learning that all those nice ideas I had about marriage and family life were pretty much just that, nice ideas.

Now I'm not saying that we shouldn't strive for perfection and that we shouldn't have ideals in mind. What I am saying is that we shouldn't judge ourselves too harshly when those ideals don't get put into play. We are all on an individual journey to return to our Heavenly Father so why do we think each journey should look the same, news flash it shouldn't! Our purpose in this life is to learn how to create an atmosphere where the Spirit can be with us and guide us, past that, just about anything can happen. We are also here to know our Father in Heaven here on earth just as we once knew Him in our pre-earth life. We will mess up sometimes, we will become distracted, we will feel lonely, we will feel like we are sticking out like a sore thumb, we will need to learn to re-organize our priorities sometimes to things we did not expect, yet each of these things will ultimately take us closer to the being that created us and loves us more than eternity. He sees our potential and He sees our purpose, He will take us down roads we did not expect and some paths that feel so dark and uncertain, He may appear silent in those time we feel we need Him most, yet the power of faith is most evident when there is no sign of God anywhere yet still we choose to obey Him, it is those moments when the adversary is thwarted in his purpose. (C.S Lewis, Screwtape Letters) It is this faith that draws us to an eternal goal and blessings beyond measure.

A Steadfast Spirit

I had an epiphany of sorts today, many might disagree with me, but I think I want to pose an hypothesis, it is easier to be in touch with the Lord when we are struggling with a trial or feel that life isn't fair. Now that might seem a contradiction in terms, some would think we are closer to the Savior when things are going well and we see our blessings, but I don't think that is how human nature actually works.

For two and a half years I was an engaged person without a wedding date and sometimes fears of whether I would ever actually get married crept in. In those moments I went to the Lord pleading for confirmation that I was on the right path, that I should hang in there and continue being full of support and love. I pled in quiet nights when I feared being alone and crazy nights when I felt like things just weren't going my way. In those two years there have been so many heart aches, fears, ups and downs and growth that accompanies life. I learned to go to the Lord instead of my partner when I got frustrated and I learned not to be frustrated with Heavenly Father when things didn't go the way I thought they should on the path He placed me on (oxymoronic I know).  Though sometimes painful I felt so blessed I knew the Lord was nearby, that He knew the frustration and He was there to help.

Fast forward two years, six months and five weeks, I am so blessed. I have a loving supportive husband, we are integrating into our new ward and I haven't imploded from work, school and spousedom. I don't have everything figured out, yet I'm loving the life I have. And I feel like I'm not checking in with Heavenly Father near as much as I could or should. I check in when I lose things around the house or when I feel overwhelmed with my capstone project, yet the growth I felt for two years feels a thing of the past.

Perhaps the battle of this mortal life is not just facing the struggles with faith and trust, but learning how to maintain that relationship with Heavenly Father when you see the blessings and feel so blessed. It is that desire to keep checking in, to find what you need to tweek to continue learning and growing. As the apostles say trials are perfectly arranged for growth, yet we can still yearn for progression when we have moved past one and grow towards the next. Because even plants need some sunshine to grow. There is service to give, the Spirit to seek and follow and work we can do.

A light on a Hill

As I prepared for the messages of this conference I took the council of the prophets and apostles and I came to the sessions with a prayerful heart and some questions. I anxiously waited for each new talk waiting for that one thing I needed to answer my questions and prepare me for the six months ahead. Each session I enjoyed each of the talks and loved the messages, but none of them rang true to me as the answer I was seeking. I felt a bit gipped, I wondered why the heavens were silent when I thought I was prepared for something so profound. Then as I listened to the new apostles this morning I heard things that reverberated to my deepest heart. All along I had been expecting to receive some big moment that would confirm to me that Heavenly Father had this complicated game plan that would help me learn to be a wife and student simultaneously, there would be specific, detailed instructions on a journey I needed to prepare to take, but none of those came. Instead the call to be a righteous wife, a loving friend, a supportive ward member, to be a light to someone in need. All of these things that sounded so mundane, not the adventure and fight I had in mind that Heavenly Father had for me.

Though not an adventure, it is a fight and a struggle to be all of those things. I'm sure all of us at one time or another have prayed like Pres Eyring "give me this trial" give me some grand way to prove my faith, when in all actuality proving our faith is a daily battle, loving the people closest to us when they see things a bit differently or have a different style of neatness, or loving a co-worker that just seems so difficult in the moment. These moments that seem so average and everyday are the moments when our character is determined, when our example is tested and when we can shine the brightest. Never turn down the mundane for the desire for something greater, we can be the most powerful and influential just by trying to be a little better everyday.

My answer today was love your husband like I love him, I think we can all do a little better at seeing others as our Father in Heaven sees them, He sees where they came from, what they are going through and where they will go, who are we to short change them and the Lord who paid the price for each of us. I am so very grateful that He chose to pay that price that I can try a little harder to be a little better, to count to five instead of just to three or to sit patiently at a desk when I just want to run away or chose a different song than the one I've been stuck on for a couple weeks.

To me the message of this conference was hold tight to what you know, work to live what you know and take every opportunity, big or small to be like Christ. I'm so excited to learn more on this journey.