A Steadfast Spirit

I had an epiphany of sorts today, many might disagree with me, but I think I want to pose an hypothesis, it is easier to be in touch with the Lord when we are struggling with a trial or feel that life isn't fair. Now that might seem a contradiction in terms, some would think we are closer to the Savior when things are going well and we see our blessings, but I don't think that is how human nature actually works.

For two and a half years I was an engaged person without a wedding date and sometimes fears of whether I would ever actually get married crept in. In those moments I went to the Lord pleading for confirmation that I was on the right path, that I should hang in there and continue being full of support and love. I pled in quiet nights when I feared being alone and crazy nights when I felt like things just weren't going my way. In those two years there have been so many heart aches, fears, ups and downs and growth that accompanies life. I learned to go to the Lord instead of my partner when I got frustrated and I learned not to be frustrated with Heavenly Father when things didn't go the way I thought they should on the path He placed me on (oxymoronic I know).  Though sometimes painful I felt so blessed I knew the Lord was nearby, that He knew the frustration and He was there to help.

Fast forward two years, six months and five weeks, I am so blessed. I have a loving supportive husband, we are integrating into our new ward and I haven't imploded from work, school and spousedom. I don't have everything figured out, yet I'm loving the life I have. And I feel like I'm not checking in with Heavenly Father near as much as I could or should. I check in when I lose things around the house or when I feel overwhelmed with my capstone project, yet the growth I felt for two years feels a thing of the past.

Perhaps the battle of this mortal life is not just facing the struggles with faith and trust, but learning how to maintain that relationship with Heavenly Father when you see the blessings and feel so blessed. It is that desire to keep checking in, to find what you need to tweek to continue learning and growing. As the apostles say trials are perfectly arranged for growth, yet we can still yearn for progression when we have moved past one and grow towards the next. Because even plants need some sunshine to grow. There is service to give, the Spirit to seek and follow and work we can do.