I'd like to start with a quote by William Blake, he said "I sought myself and myself I could not see, I sought my God and He alluded me. I sought my brother and I found all three." I went to a training* this weekend and as I learned how to reopen my heart and embrace others I found myself again and I finally felt God's love in a way that I really needed. At this training we were challenged to give 10 hugs to people during the break. If you had asked me to do this even last week I would have turned you down flat, asking why I had to go out of my way to do it, when no one else was (as far as I can tell I was one of the few going up to complete strangers and giving them hugs, and I mean real hugs, not the touch arms then jump apart kind). I would have asked inside my mind why I should put myself out. But instead I took this as an opportunity to try to lift another, so I asked the Spirit for help and looked for those in need of a hug. As I tapped people on the shoulder and asked if I could give them a hug I had a wonderful opportunity to share love with them, to hold on longer than is the norm and take a moment to feel their spirit, to understand their need to feel loved and to feel the love of my Savior for them. How precious it was to hold these complete strangers in my arms and feel a love for them and for myself that I didn't even realize existed.
At this training we were encouraged to assume the best of others, that as we encountered someone and saw a look on their faces that past experience would tell us is negative, to instead see the positive. "To choose to love them no matter what, we don't have to move in with them, unless we want to, but to simply choose to see the best in them and love them." (Kim Duncan). We will run into so many people in this life, some will treat us kindly, some will treat us poorly. Instead of assuming they are out to get us or assume that they are failing at life, we need to have in our minds that they are doing the best that they can. We don't know what is going on in their lives, we don't know what life experiences have colored their view, we don't know how the muscles in their face rest. If we set in our minds that they are giving their 100% and we give our 100% then we come away feeling we have done our best in a good thing.
I think another thing that I was forcefully reminded of is that I can ask other people for help. One of the things that I have struggled with the most is the fear of other people's pity, of telling other too much and leaving me alone because what is going on in my life is too scary to bare and share. Satan has been working overtime on this fear, he had me so convinced that people wouldn't understand me, that if they did care they would show it in all the wrong ways and that they probably wouldn't care. The more I talk with other people the more I realize we all have trials, we all have things that cause our lives to feel hard, overwhelming and painful...who am I to share my pain around? Is my life really so hard that I have a right to share it? The thing is our experiences aren't on some gradient scale, "oh you only got a B on a test you studied really hard for, boohoo for you" vs "your child just died of cancer, that actually is sad". Yes one may look much more serious than the other, but to each person in the middle of that moment they deserve compassion, they deserve kindness because they are a mortal struggling with the frailties of mortality and disappointment. Perhaps a key of this life is to not grade trial or to make comparisons at all. Satan would tell us that our struggle is such that no one would understand, so he cuts us off from those who we need the most.
Case in point, having slowly cut myself off from quite a few people the last few months (not hermit style, just selective discussion style) I realized last night that I need to start rebuilding. I began with my dear sweet mother in law. As I asked a simply question I came to understand that Satan had messed with my thinking so much he had cut me off from one of my greatest allies, kept me from someone who has a unique understanding of where I am coming from and my joys and disappointments. She also has a benefit of the long view that I don't have. In finally opening up to her I was able to find perspective that I had lost, hope that had been missing, and joy of not feeling so alone. These new perspectives don't change circumstances, but they make all the difference in the world because our heart can change and with a changed heart everything changes.
If Satan has told you lies, has told you you are alone or misunderstood, or that someone is out to get you or is just being so rude. I would encourage you to evaluate your perspective on your relationships and see what assumptions you've made. For just one day, assume that everyone is doing their best, that they love you, and we're all trying, you will see amazing results. I can already feel some of my desire wearing down to be as open as I can, I struggle with self doubt. But we can all start from somewhere and try to do just a little better the next day.
One last thing, a dear friend that I met at the training said something to me that has helped me so much in my thinking. I had begun asking myself what is the point to do what I do each day, I just have to redo it again the next. She shared with me what the Spirit shared with her "work is endless because progression is endless". If we want to gain all that progression has to offer, which is endless, then we must be willing to pay the price endlessly. We will be blessed in this effort. As she said, if progression means doing dishes every day, then I am going to be the best darn dish washer I can be. If sometimes we face disappointment or frustration, that is simply another step in endless progression.
The Lord has an amazing destiny for us and that destiny is reached through making and strengthening relationships and to find the joy in the little things that bring us closer to Him. He is in it for the long haul, are we?
Christ has already fought our battles, and He won.
*Queen of the Kingdom through 3keyelements.com
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