Not in the Outcome

 
 Hope is an interesting thing, sometimes in my own life I connect hope to a hope in a specific outcome, not necessarily just in something I want, but also in something I feel the Lord wants for me as well. Yet when we place our hope and faith in specific, quantified outcomes we lose faith in the true matter at hand, in our Heavenly Father and his actions in our lives.
   Yes I believe that Heavenly Father will follow through on His promises and His directions, if He is directing you to do something we would all do well to follow that direction, yet it shouldn't be just to get what we want, we should be following Him because we know He loves us and wants what best for us and as we follow Him we will learn and grow in ways we never thought we could.
    Sometimes we are afraid to follow the direction we receive, because we're afraid we interpreted it incorrectly, or we have past experiences that we prepared what we could, but things still didn't work out quite the way we thought they would. This is ultimately where faith comes in, the outcome shouldn't matter, we followed the Spirit, we know we'll end up just where we should and if it doesn't work out the way we expected we know that Heavenly Father's comfort will only be a prayer away.
   Sometimes faith requires action without logic, acting because we feel we should, not because we see the end. Two farmers needed rain. One farmer spent his time on his knees praying for rain while the other farmer started on his knees, then went to prepare his field. I hope that we will all choose to be the latter farmer, that we will have courage to go prepare whatever field Heavenly Father has placed on our heart to prepare and that we will learn that He is at the beginning and end of every direction He sends to us.

Remember faith is in God, not the outcome.

Never Turn Away

True faith is believing God will do what is best for me in His time. I'm afraid I've forgotten that bit of wisdom in the last few months.

This last week as I've been arranging things to head down to Alpine and listen to my mission president and his wife speak I've taken the time to ponder on my mission and the moments that changed my life in Cambodia. For those of you reading this that don't know I came home from my mission early, it wasn't easy nor what I expected from the mission the Lord called me on, but I knew his hand was in it, so I did it. I struggled with illness for two months as I tried to fulfil my missionary duties, help in companionship planning and be an all around friendly person. After being sent to Thailand for an MRI that showed us nothing conclusive Pres Moon called me into his office and said "Chi Dao, we need to figure out what to do with you, you can't keep going on like this," mind you this is after he found me slumped on the floor with my head leaning on a couch at his house. That weekend we fasted to know what I needed to do. Through that weekend I warred with myself between wanting to stay despite the headaches, versus wanting to go home so my companion could be a proselyting missionary again. At the end of that weekend I knew without a doubt that Heavenly Father needed me somewhere else and my time in Cambodia and my time with a name tag had come to an end. It was so hard to leave, but I knew that it was right and though I had my own ideas about why I was going home, which all proved incorrect I might add ;-), I still know I went where I needed to be, even though it wasn't what I wanted or expected.

As I shared that experience with a friend I wondered, why don't I feel that way anymore? Why can't I feel direction that same way again, to just know that what I felt directed to do was right and that it came from Heavenly Father. And I realized that has more to do with me, than it has to do with Heavenly Father. He's giving me the answers I'm seeking, but I'm struggling to trust Him, hence a lack of sureness.

His words and comfort withstand the vagaries of life, my trust in Him needs to do the same.  When I served in Cambodia my whole life, every aspect was dependent on having the Spirit and following it. Now that I live a life that can range from mundane on some days when I can run on auto-pilot, to cry my eyes out begging the heavens for help, I need to be doing those things everyday that ensures the Spirit is my constant companion and then accept the comfort when it comes instead of saying "yeah but". It is so easy to contradict what we feel, by what we see in the moment, I promise what we feel in our heart has a lot more truth and should have a lot more weight in our lives.

We truly can find peace and comfort in this life if we turn to Christ and never turn away.



For further reading see Elder Quentin L Cook's talk:
The Lord is My Light
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/the-lord-is-my-light?lang=eng#watch=video

The friends which never leave us

 
So I have this friend and we are really tight, we do just about everything together. We watch movies together, listen to music together, go on road trips together and go to work together. He helps me figure out what to say in important situations, listens to my concerns and helps me find answers, he is a guide and a help to me. He offers me peace and comfort when I feel uptight or sad and offers wise counsel in time of need, sometimes he even shouts to get my attention when something isn't right. This friend of mine has a soft voice and sometimes can't be heard in busy, loud places of chaos and confusion, yet when I choose quiet, peaceful places he teaches me so much. Sometimes my other friends questions the things he tells me and the world around me is confused by the choices I make based on his advice, yet he has never led me astray.

Even with all this great help, support and advice sometimes I get fed up, because I don't see things the way he sees things or I don't have the same long distance perspective, I don't see how things could be the way he says they are. Yet whenever I disregard his guidance or shrug off the peace he sends to me I am immediately surrounded by confusion, anxiety and pain.

I testify that this friend of mine can be a friend to all of us, he is the messenger of our Heavenly Father. Because our Father is omnipotent he sees all things and sends his spirit to be with us, to see beyound our own concerns and fears and look to the future with hope. This past week has threatened to tear me from my moorings, to question all the things I hold dear in my heart, I have thought things I never thought I would, yet each moment of pain and fear was accompanied by a spirit of peace, inexplicable, yet all consuming. The Lord has sent His spirit to me to let me know I am known, I am loved and there are so many blessings just around the corner. He has proven to me time and time again that He can do the impossible, I don't know how or when but I know it will happen.

I hope and pray that each of us can find a friend and ally in the Spirit that we will look to him, our Savior and our Heavenly Father to bring peace into our lives, send counsel in time of distress and bring about miracles in unexpected places.

They are our truest friends for they will never leave us.

Thoughts of a Nation and of a Life

  I know that as it is Independence Day weekend and my blog started as a patriotic political one I really should have so much to say, but I'm not sure that I do. I don't have a hobby horse to ride this weekend, so instead I want to simply share some thoughts that just keep coming back.

This nation was founded on principles of freedom and righteousness and as we live according to these principles we will be blessed.

Contrary to current popular opinion I know this country had the help of God to direct the men writing the Declaration of Independence and Constitution. This country is not an accident it was formed by God to be the cradle of the Restoration and to bring joy and safety to millions.

As I learned today what we do of ourselves fades away, but the things we do for Heavenly Father remain and are magnified. I don't what how to face the things this life will send my way, but I know if I do the things Heavenly Father asks me to do I will be successful and I will be able to return to Him.

I'm thankful for the men and women who have gone across an ocean to fight for this nation and I'm so thankful for the men and women who fought for this nation by teaching their children to honor the flag, to honor liberty, freedom of speech, freedom of religion to stand for what is right, not what is popular, to rely on the Gospel of Jesus Christ and to be led by His Spirit. I hope each of us will hold the flag dear to our hearts and honour the men and women who have fought for it.

Our Father knows and loves us, He intends and desires each of us to return to Him, what do we need to be willing to give up to do that? I don't know what that is, but I pray that I'll be brave enough to do it when the Lord comes and asks of me to do hard things, for then the test comes and we learn to follow our Saviour though the pathway be difficult.

I know my Saviour lives and loves each of us, He prepared the place He planted us so we could grow back to Him.

The Maze or The Traveling Companion

Have you ever had that moment when you're quiet on the inside, just pondering what the Lord has for you and a thought pops into your head? I'm sure that most of us have had that and experiences like that in our lives. When we act upon them, do our best to obey and they are fulfilled, what we thought would happen came to fruition. But have you ever had a time when they didn't?

Yep, that happened to me this week, I was quiet in the inside, thinking about nothing in particular and a thought just popped into my head, I questioned it a bit, checked for authenticity and went with it. It brought peace to my heart and excitement to my mind and that is usually a pretty good indication that that inspiration just came from Heavenly Father, there's only one catch, it didn't happen. I was crushed, confused and hurt. Mind you, some will say that obviously I was confused and just didn't interpret the inspiration correctly. Which is a possibility, but considering I was in the temple and I triple checked, I felt pretty good about it, so why didn't it happen?

For anybody out there who feels confused or hurt or frustrated I understand and respect it. Sometimes I wonder if Heavenly Father sends us those feelings so we know we are worthy of whatever He told us or that we were considered (which is a really awesome thing) I also wonder if He does it to see how we will respond. In those moments when we feel directed to a new experience or opportunity we feel nervous, but because we are called of the Lord we know we can do it, we tell the Lord "I'll go where you want me to go, I'll do what you want me to do, I'll say what you want me to say". Yet when the moment arrives and it doesn't play out as expected, can we still say these words? Our character is determined by how we react when life doesn't play out as we expected it too. We can trust completely in whatever Heavenly Father tells us, as my mission companion once said "we follow Heavenly Father until we hit a wall, then we ask Him what to do next". Sometimes it may feel that we have hit a wall, instead we have simply found the next place that reminds us to keep Heavenly Father as a traveling companion, active in our life.

It is hard to not receive that thing that first terrified us, then excited us, but I hope that we will never rail at God, for He is the master planner and designer, perhaps only He knows why things played out as they did, I guarantee He has a plan and a purpose. Many things will enter our lives throughout the course of a lifetime and each comes for a purpose. I don't know why that opportunity didn't come as expected, but I'm thankful that it opened my heart to speak with Him more so that together we can figure my wee mortal life out.

It takes you

As a child I never thought much about what fatherhood entailed, I just knew that my dad worked all day away from home and then, in the summers, he came home and worked outside all night long in the garden. It's not until I grew up and started understanding what "bills" meant and the many hours he put in to pay them and worked in the garden to feed us that I saw the long loving hours he put in for us.

There's not a day that goes by without my dad asking how all the kids are doing, what we're up to, how goes school, what about food storage, are we getting enough sleep, and have we changed the oil in our car recently. I still remember and cherish that one youth conference when my dad, as bishopbric member, was a chaperone at the youth dance and when he saw that none of the boys asked me to dance he asked me. I've danced with many young men since, but that dance means the most to me.

The responsibilities of fatherhood are so overwhelming; to temporally provide for your family, to spiritually lead in your home and make sure that no matter what comes your children know your home is a safe harbour. I'm so thankful that my father has willingly and faithfully fulfilled those roles in my life, for always striving to do his duty, he has shown me that making your word as good as your bond is a very powerful thing. Thank you Dad for all you do and thank you to all the Dads out there who strive to faithfully do their duty and show us the care our Heavenly Father wants us to know.

For those who don't have a father in the home, thank you to the men in our lives who bare the priesthood and show Christlike love and service. Fathers really are the unsung heroes for their many sleepless nights and many desires to see their families succeed.

I often wonder if the fathers of the world feel like this, yet they keep going.

For those who are still reading Elder Perry had some wonderful things to say about families and things as they really are, I know I felt encouraged.

"No one has ever come up with a more efficient way to raise the next generation than a household of married parents with children.

Public opinion polls show that marriage is still the ideal and the hope among the majority of every age group—even among the millennial generation, where we hear so much about chosen singleness, personal freedom, and cohabitation instead of marriage. The fact is that strong majorities worldwide still want to have children and to create strong families.

Once we are married and once we have children, the true commonality among all mankind becomes even more evident. As “family people”—no matter where we live or what our religious beliefs may be—we share many of the same struggles, the same adjustments, and the same hopes, worries, and dreams for our children.

As New York Times columnist David Brooks said: “People are not better off when they are given maximum personal freedom to do what they want. They’re better off when they are enshrouded in commitments that transcend personal choice—commitments to family, God, craft and country.”⁴

One problem is that much of the media and entertainment that the world shares does not reflect the priorities and values of the majority. For whatever reasons, too much of our television, movies, music, and Internet present a classic case of a minority masquerading as a majority. Immorality and amorality, ranging from graphic violence to recreational sex, is portrayed as the norm and can cause those who have mainstream values to feel like we are out of date or from a bygone era. In such a media and Internet-dominated world, it has never been harder to raise responsible children and to keep marriages and families together.

Despite what much of media and entertainment outlets may suggest, however, and despite the very real decline in the marriage and family orientation of some, the solid majority of mankind still believes that marriage should be between one man and one woman. They believe in fidelity within marriage, and they believe in the marriage vows of “in sickness and in health” and “till death do us part.”

We need to remind ourselves once in a while, as I was reminded in Rome, of the wonderfully reassuring and comforting fact that marriage and family are still the aspiration and ideal of most people and that we are not alone in those beliefs."

A Greater Reward

Dear World,
    I received some very exciting news this week. As I was converting files like mad this week my boss nonchalantly strolled and informed me that she talked with her boss and they've arranged to keep me on with pay for the rest of the summer, needless to say I was related. Of course there was an "and but" that they couldn't guarantee into the school year, but they'll see what they can do. Okay, so I don't know what will happen three months from now, but I know it has worked out very well so far, Heavenly Father has fulfilled his word in my life.
   Now with that exciting announcement made I would like to share a story, then ask a question. Last two weeks my tablet has been on the fritz. The first night it wouldn't work I knew I didn't know where the receipt was and I was in a panic. You see the tablet was only two and a half months old and it was a very large investment and I didn't know what to do. As I prayed I worried and fretted until finally the Spirit said "quiet". I realized that worrying wouldn't solve anything and I instead sought for peace and prayed that everything would be all right. I felt assured everything would work out and I went to bed. Two weeks later the seller has worked with me for an exchange and what turned out to be an upgrade, indeed it has all worked out.
   Now for the question, how do you guys feel about the end of the world and the Second Coming of the Savior? Does it bring you fear, do you feel concern over the calamities of the coming days, do you not even think about it or are you one of the lucky ones who has enough perspective not to worry too much? I admit I'm one of the nervous/scared ones. Ever since I was little I've been keyed into the prophecies and signs of the times and the more I see in the world today, the more I know it must get worse before it gets better. For months now this thought has haunted and concerned me, yet as I've prayed to know how I should prepare and what I should do, I haven't gotten answers, but I have gotten peace.
   As I think about the job offer the Spirit assured me I couldn't refuse or my tablet which seemed a hopeless cause I am reminded that if Heavenly Father can take care of a tablet, He can take care of me. The signs of the times and prophecies of our Savior's coming are meant to instigate a change within us, we are meant to be preparing to welcome Him back to this earth, we can't do that if we don't know when He will arrive. Our loving Heavenly Father is letting the earth know that the time when our Savior will rule and reign on the earth again is near at hand. I don't know about you, but I know I'm not yet ready to look into my Savior's eyes. I am so thankful for this time that is calling me to prepare, so that I can do my part to prepare the earth for His coming.

   Though there are wars and rumors of wars and upheaval around the world, we are known and we are numbered and we will be taken care of as we each individually put our spiritual houses into order. As Elder Oaks said in last Conference:
"Subjects for general conference talks are assigned—not by mortal authority but by the impressions of the Spirit. Many subjects would address the mortal concerns we all share. But just as Jesus did not teach how to overcome the mortal challenges or political oppression of His day, He usually inspires His modern servants to speak about what we must do to reform our personal lives to prepare us to return to our heavenly home." Or I might add, our heavenly home to come and meet us.

As we trust in the Lord, for our trusting faithful times are just moments in the eternal scheme, we gain a far greater reward of love and peace.