44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
We live in a world divided by color, address, economic status, religion, nation, language and politics. When was the last time we stopped to focus on our similarities? When was the last time did we think about the life of someone else, the stresses in their lives or the baggage they care keeping them from peace and hope. Now though I reference enemies, people cursing and persecution, really what I want to talk about is learning to love others who don't live up to our expectations for them.
Tonight isn't a rant about what we're not doing or a lecture telling you all what to do. I'm a twenty something that is still trying to figure out how to show love for someone that makes choices differently than I do. I don't understand how addictions affect choices, how people could make choices so adverse to what they ultimately want and how people's backgrounds can be so different that they simply see the world differently than I do. Yet I can't allow their choices or different perspective affect my love for them.We cannot allow our expectations for their actions to dictate how we feel about them. Viktor Frankl explained that men who pinned their existence on a quick liberation soon withered and died when their freedom did not come. He said:
"Those who know how close the connection is between the state of mind of a man-his courage and hope, or lack of them-and the state of immunity of his body will understand that the sudden loss of hope and courage can have a deadly effect. The ultimate cause of my friend's death was that the expected liberation did not come and he was severely disappointed."
We cannot let our disappointment in the actions and abilities of others affect how we feel and show love for others. This has taken me two long years to grasp. I cannot allow my desires of what I expect to happen allow me to become frustrated when my expectations are not met. Frankl stated:
"The salvation of man is through love and in love."
He survived the hard labor and concentration camp through focusing on the love he felt for his wife. Though life was not what he wanted it to be, he focused on the love in his heart and realized that was something worth living for.
"...in the final analysis it becomes clear that the sort of person the prisoner became was the result of an inner decision, and not the result of camp influences alone."
I would add that it is not the influences of life alone which dictates the person we become. We may hope for better things or feel we should be treated differently, but ultimately we should turn to Heavenly Father for peace and ask him to help us understand His love for His children. Sometimes people make decisions against truth and right, they remove themselves from the presence of the Spirit and for a time cannot feel God's love for them. Be that love. If they are ever to change or find hope in their lives they need love. They need to know that they have a support system and encouragement. It is amazing what the human spirit will do when love is part of the equation.
It may take weeks, months, years, decades or centuries to change and become new, but that is true for each one of us and love brings a peace and healing to the heart that comes in no other way. Also as we seek to share God's love we feel more of that love in our own life.
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