More than We Realized We Could Be

Stake Conference today elicited some interesting ideas, now if I finish this post it means I haven't been struck by lightning and this is a message we all need to be reminded of. Or just that Heavenly Father is storing up his lightning for more pressing causes, either way ;-).

I believe we have this misconception about the relationship between justice and the Atonement or justice and grace. I know in my own mind I feel like I have to live up to a certain expectation of goodness or number of good deeds before I can pray for help. I need to have a certain number of hours of scripture study, a certain number of hours of house work, a certain number of hours of homework and a certain number of service hours before I can request heavenly help. I need to reach my own expectations of goodness in order to be worthy of divine aid, sadly my expectations for myself is something that as a human being I just can't do myself. I want to be an amazing wife, house keeper, cook, student (with lots of A's) a good student worker, getting two miles a day in walking and always be anxiously engaged in a good cause. What I'm finding is that most days I'm glad when I've done the dishes, had a bit of cuddle time with my awesome spouse and actually read some of the articles needed for classes the next day and got a half a mile in wandering around campus.

With all of these feelings of falling short of where I want to be I am constantly amazed by the tender mercies the Lord sends to me, especially when I'm up late Saturday night writing a paper and reading text books because I was burned out earlier and ended up watching way too much football. In a world of so many distractions it is hard to find the balance between healthy down time and unhelpful time sucks. Yet Heavenly Father understands this mortal existence and He understands we won't always get it right the first time or the second time or the third time. What He does hope for is that we will want to do better and that we will invite Him into the fray. Our God is greater than we give him credit for, He wants so much to help us. We have a Savior who personally knows mortality and personally knows us. He applauds our efforts and desires and wants us to be better. He also knows our limitations and disappointments. He hasn't drawn some line in the sand and expects us to cross it before He'll offer his support. The day He walked into that Garden was the day He yolked himself with us and said, "I will walk with you, I will talk with you and I will never let you go farther afield than I am willing to go too." He is not waiting for perfection, He waits only for desire. He takes and magnifies our efforts and turns us into something more. This doesn't mean I always get three miles in or that I"ll get all A's, but it does mean I'll end up a better person in the end, it means we can all end up as more than we realized we could be.