Most of my life I've been a pretty optimistic person, mind you other than minor heartaches of growing up I didn't have much not to be optimistic about, then as I grew older and faced self-esteem issues about my weight, pessimism from the world around me and loneliness I still decided optimism was better. Good things were still in my future and with faith anything was possible.
Then I met a young man whose life was very unlike my own. He'd suffered heartache, struggled with depression and had pain he'd carried through most of his life. Where as my perception went through rose colored lenses, his could occasionally look pretty dark. Despite our different perspectives on the world I knew he had an amazing heart and I felt we could be amazing for each other. About this time a phrase or idea came into my life, the idea of ocean swells or more commonly known as "when is the other shoe going to drop" syndrome. {1} We faced our struggles, sometimes I'd even feel we had more than our fair share of struggles, it began to feel that just as soon as we'd find an equilibrium, we'd find a new happy place for us something would go wrong. It seemed like we'd have a week of good things happening and then two weeks of things going hay-wire. I began almost dreading the good times because I was sure something sad or bad was around the corner.
As time passed I kind of forgot the phrase and moved on, my young man and I did make it through the sad and the bad and I forgot the phrase. I just sort of figured life went on in a negative positive pattern. I took Elder Holland's discussion of Moses 1 to heart, first Moses saw the face of the Lord and then Satan came. Elder Holland explains that after moments of great light and knowledge we can then be visited by darkness and obstacle to test our new knowledge and see if we will hold to the light we have just received. Moses held to that knowledge, rebuked the adversary, sent him on his way and then Moses received even more light and knowledge.
My problem with the shoe drop theory is that I only ever stopped at light came, so then darkness...I forgot to get to the part where greater comes after. It is true we live in a fallen world, opposition is all around us, Satan wants to distract us or intimidate us away from the light. Sometimes further light and knowledge will be followed by darkness, but it doesn't have to stay that way.
This week was amazing, so many wonderful things that I had been praying and hoping for, just sort of appeared out of the blue in my life. Heavenly Father had told me to wait, so I did and this week His moment had arrived and what He had been preparing me for came. So of course by the end of the week, after many precious and beautiful experiences, after confirmations by the Spirit and lots of good feelings I began to wonder when things would go wrong...so of course they went wrong. Hiccups and bumps in the road seemed to appear magically out of nowhere and I started freaking out. Thankfully I like Oliver Cowdry was reminded to think back on the night Heavenly Father witnessed this was His path for me and I continued with the gift and direction He gave me. And then further light and knowledge came. As I took what He taught me and applied it He was able to give me more. The problem with thinking the shoe will drop is we then limit Heavenly Father...as a friend told me "the shoe doesn't have to drop" no shoe droppage! Just because there is opposition doesn't mean the shoe dropped, it just means that Satan wants his say too, we don't have to listen, we don't have to invite negative energy into our lives, we can just keep learning, keep hoping and keep expecting good things to come. We are divine children of an eternal Father, the creator of the universe, we can do, be, have and become so much, but we need to expect good things to come. When good things come, keep expecting good things to come. Heavenly Father intends to bless and enrich us our whole life, but we have to let Him, we must believe good things are just going to keep coming. Even in the midst of trial or obstacle He can and will keep blessing you, let Him. Be like Moses who moved through the darkness to the next great thing, trust you will keep ascending to greater and greater things and don't stay down because you think a shoe is about to drop.
Heavenly Father wants to help us refine our nature, the more we invite His spirit, the more we spend time in His home (temple), the more we take the marvelous gifts and blessings He sends us, the more we can keep moving forward, become more than we are right now and the more we ascend to be like Him, the more we see who we really are. When good things come don't be looking around corners expecting bad things on the horizon, be looking for more good things because they are on their way.
{1} https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/wait_for_the_other_shoe_to_drop
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