As I was preparing to return home from Cambodia at what became the end of my mission I asked for a blessing because I was entering unknown territory and I was scared. My brother had come home early from his mission due to medical reasons and I knew how my parents hurt for him and didn't know how to help and support him, when my own health problems started cropping up I had that fear in the back of my mind, the fear of disappointing everyone and coming home. Then it actually happened, I met with Pres Moon and knew it was time, I knew by the spirit it was time for the next chapter of life (and as my post from a couple weeks ago shows I'm still learning to find joy in my own story and not making it look like anyone else's) but I was still scared about what this new life would entail. For nine months I had focused completely on wanting to do the work of the Lord and all of a sudden that work was changing and I didn't know what would come next. Sure I had high hopes of a young man in my future, but that was over a thousand miles away and I still had no idea what was wrong with my health and feeling unsure of where my life would go.
So back to the blessing, I don't remember the words ( I do have it written down in my mission journal and should probably go find it) but I do remember what I saw. As I sat with elders hands upon my head and eyes closed I saw a mountain rising in front of me with a hand rail going up a jagged trail on the side of the mountain with clouds, thunder, lightning and rain. I do remember that I was promised faith to part mountains and split seas, to have faith that there was a plan and purpose and that though it would be hard it would be okay.
As I came home and faced life, school, love and patience I thought often of that blessing and many times I thought it applied to each situation and in truth it probably did and still does. Yet as I thought of these last two weeks, thought of what I've learned and a rough edge or two that got rubbed off a bit more I saw that mountain again in my mind and I realized what I thought was the mountain before was just the trail to get to the mountain.
There is a false belief in the church that we don't teach it just seems to hang around, that if you are obedient you will be blessed with an easy life. Because God will open the windows of heaven this must mean life will be good. It is true that life will be good, not because trials will magically disappear, but because we will have added perspective and help through the Spirit and we will have the help of heaven to assist us.
In fact I will tender the thought that as we are obedient and seeking for further light and knowledge life will actually get harder, more temporal questions will arise, more temptation, more frustrations will arise because this life is meant to test us, this life is meant to present mountains to our view because this life is meant to knock off rough edges and to refine us, the Lord wants to give us everything, but first we must be tried in everything. This life presents mountains because on those climbs we learn who we are and we learn who Heavenly Father is, on those climbs we learn the stern stuff we are made of, on those climbs we become softer, kinder and more loving as we invite our Savior to walk with us and help us see others as He sees each of us.
There will come moments in our lives that seem to test us to the limit, but just hold on, stay close to our Father and remember you can and will make it and in six more months something knew will come to try and test you, not because life is unfair or we are unloved, but because Heavenly Father has a universe for us and we need to be ready. It is a greater disservice to us to let our lives be easy and never learn than to allow life to be life and help us be ready for all that our Father has for us.
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