This week in primary the lesson was about God answering prayers in the best way for us. I think it is important that the point of the lesson wasn't just to teach that we should pray, but the manner in which Heavenly Father will answer prayers, He does answer them, not as we think He should, but in the way that is best for us.
As I read over the lesson two weeks ago (last week was stake conference) I pondered on different ways the Lord had answered my prayers and most of the ones I thought of wouldn't make a whole lot of sense to four year olds, so I prayed that Heavenly Father would help me recognize answers to prayers. Well in order for that to happen, He first needed to send me moments in which I would need to pray and receive answer to prayers. Can I just tell you that has been an interesting exercise in mortality these last two weeks, an exercise I am very grateful for and wasn't completely prepared for.
First I lost an earring from a set that a friend had made for me. I was very sad of the loss, retraced my steps and prayed mightily, all to know immediate avail. Only a week later on a walk did the person who made it for me see it on the cement after a rainstorm, after some cleaning I gladly wear it again.
The second opportunity came in the form of a new portable washer and dryer. For our whole married life we have been dependent on others for the ability to do laundry and when our old neighbors offered us their set we were so excited! Imagine our chagrin and sadness when the washer leaked like crazy and we couldn't figure out what was wrong. Mind you the washer and dryer showed up in our lives right before I headed to a conference where I was gone long hours and never really had time in the evenings to dedicate to figure out what was wrong. We prayed and prayed, took apart the washer and tried to figure out what was wrong, to no avail. That is until I gave it time, finally on a Saturday I was able to calm down enough to let the Spirit do some talking and walk me through what was going on. The problem didn't magically fix itself as I was sort of hoping it would. But I think I have a solution that will fit our needs.
The third opportunity came when I lost a bracelet (I know, I know, my track record with jewelry isn't the best). I had a brand new jewelry set and excitedly wore it to work, only to get to work and take off my jacket and discover the bracelet was no longer on my wrist, with no idea at which point it had fallen off. I search all over my department and even back tracked my way across campus during lunch, praying the whole way...and nothing. I'm sensing a pattern here...sometimes answers take time and the right frame of mind. That night I prayed in faith instead of in panic, I had faith that indeed the bracelet would be returned to me and I would be led in the right direction. The next day I was led to look down at a certain point and there it was, the bracelet I had sought for was below me.
I am thankful that Heavenly Father answered my finding prayers, He truly does see the fall of each sparrow and for the hair of each head. I know He cares for the little things in our lives, He also cares for what is best for our lives.
This knowledge comes from my most recent answer to prayer, an answer that came in a rather unexpected fashion. Last week in stake conference as I pondered what I could give up to draw nearer to the Savior I was told in no uncertain terms that I need to figure out how to go to bed at night, I need to take better care of my stewardship by going to sleep. Now the idea of needing more sleep isn't new...about six months ago I talked about avoiding sleeping on our couch (and I have done better), but I had never received that outside direction so forcefully before. So naturally I set to work trying to do better, trying to do better all on my own. And as the nature of trying to improve the opposition started and I found myself going to bed even later, until I finally realized I couldn't make this effort alone. So I prayed to Heavenly Father to help me head to bed earlier. I think I was hoping for greater motivation to head to bed. Instead Heavenly Father took away His protection I had been receiving from lack of sleep. Because of my righteous efforts He had been helping me to function from lack of sleep at work and at the temple. Well this week in order to understand how great the need was to care for my body, He removed that help and I had to face it head on. It is exhausting to say the least. For the first time in months I was in bed before 11 o'clock on a Saturday night. Mind you I still woke up without a voice, but I also woke up with a better understanding of why I avoid sleep, an understanding I can apply to the future so I can hopefully get more sleep. Of course now I need to face the consequences of my choices, which at this moment means a lost voice and dizziness. Consequences getting some more sleep will cure. So it is off to bed for me.
I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who answers prayers, who not only answers my heart's desires with kindness, but also answers my prayers in unexpected and at times less than pleasant ways because He knows what I really need and how to help me gain what I truly desire (a better me). In this case it was becoming a better steward of my body and of time, not just always pushing through the tired.
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