You matter to Him

So tonight I feel like I have plenty to say, but I have no idea how to organize it and how much I should really share, so who knows, because life goes in contraries because I know I have so much, this post might be really short...or not we'll see ;-). I do know that a lot of what I think and feel is based on this premise. Because I matter to Him, everything else will work out, I will end up just where I'm supposed to be.

Tonight I'd like to talk about faith, I know I've covered this topic liberally in the past months we've been together, but faith is not a topic that you learn and move on from, it is a principle and virtue that you keep learning throughout your life. Faith and this life in general is like an ever ascending spiral, after you master one virtue, principle or life skill you move up to the next level in which you try to apply what you have learned and learn just how much there is for you to learn. After two years of being engaged and running through three or four hoped for, but never planned out wedding dates it is weird to think that I really have one this time and my fiance is the one doing a large amount of the planning and preparing. Even with a date at the temple scheduled, the church reserved and announcements printed just waiting to be sent out, I still feel nervous that I'll wake up one morning and find it all gone. Mind you, it is different this time, my fiancee came to me with a date, I didn't go to him hoping for one, he's making all sorts of wedding and post wedding preparations that I've never seen before and this time the Spirit came to me saying it was time. Yet even with all of these extra assurances there is still some corner of me that wonders if this is really going to happen. Not doubt whether it is a good thing, but just doubt that the time has actually come and now I get to become more fully an adult, ahhh.

I'm so exhausted of that little niggling of doubt, I'm still making plans: flowers, cakes, pictures and dresses. There comes a point where you simply have to choose to believe and that came for me last night. I was tired of second guessing and questioning and wondering if things really would come together. But once I gave it to the Lord and let Him take care of it I've known such peace. We each have things that cause that little niggling doubt rise up in us, in my case it happens to be planning a wedding, for others choices for school, preparing for the future, taking a job offer or trying to find an apartment. Whatever it is in your life, let Heavenly Father do the work for you, if it feels right, do it, you will never regret it, sometimes you do end up just where you hoped you would and sometimes you don't end up where you thought you would, but you end up in a place much better. Allow God to do something great in your life, He has hold of the entire universe and he can move mountains, change hearts, break the cycle of addictions and change the world and sometimes if we allow our hearts open to those opportunities we even get to be part of the process :-).