Yet this year hasn't felt the same. This is my first year having a 40 hrs a week job and a spouse, the responsibilities of full time employment, cleaning the house and preparing for gift giving seems to have zapped me of my normal Christmas zeal. Even putting up the Christmas tree and seeing the lights twinkling and Christmas music playing hasn't filled my heart with the usual Christmas joy.
The snow has definitely helped me feel the "it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas" theme more and I do love me the snow and Christmas lights on houses combination, yet I haven't felt the same warmth in my heart. Even after two years of marriage (I realize that even years down the road some of these things might still perplex me) I still struggle with the balancing of old and new family traditions, of how different families have unique holiday plans and styles, and that sometimes more flexibility than less is required.
Tonight as I've been trying to figure out why my previous holiday spirit is proving most elusive this year I realized it is because I was focusing on the wrong things. First and foremost I wanted things to be the way they used to be instead of realizing that things change and instead of pining over days gone by it is better to embrace the new. And as I pondered I also realized that I had forgotten the true purpose of Christmas. Now I say purpose instead of meaning, because we can remember the true meaning of Christmas and still lose our way. The true meaning of Christmas, at least in my mind, is to celebrate the life of Christ and the gift of His Son Heavenly Father gave to the world. The purpose of this season is to share that love with those around us. In becoming caught up in a specific feeling of Christmas, in wanting old traditions over new experiences and in being just plain self-ish I had missed that love is at the forefront of this holiday. Why do we have a holiday all about gift-giving? It is because the day began with the greatest gift given to mankind, the gift of life-giving love through the gift of our Savior Jesus Christ. The gift of love in the form of a sinless sacrifice who gave His life out of love that we might live with His father once more. This season is about reunion, about remembering the gift of love and placing that gift first in our lives. Placing that gift first will look differently to each of us, we each are on a different path and on a different place on that path as we as individuals return back to our Heavenly Father. But if I may, I think that love must needs go first to those we chose for eternity.
The world blares that Christmas should look a certain way, that specific things are necessary for the holiday to be just so, and I'm not talking about materialism (we already realize that this is something to try to avoid) because Christmas is the time we celebrate the coming of the Light of the World coming to earth, this is also a time when Satan works to detract, distract and keep us from finding Christ-like love at Christmas. Christmas falls near the darkest night of the year so that we have a reminder of life, light and hope. We must fight for that light by sharing that love. I used to think love just happened, now I'm coming to realize that it is a continuous choice and one that must be fought for, chosen and loved.
I hope we can take time for quiet pondering in which we can talk with the Light of World to learn how we can share His light and His love with those around us, remember those ways might surprise you.
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